Nada Don

The dour David Gergen, who has served as adviser to four presidents — and believed to have been, in an earlier life, Teddy Roosevelt’s horse — put Donald Trump’s honeymoon in office in perspective: “The only president who had a worse first 100 days in office was Henry Harrison, and he died after 31 days.”

Yes, Donald may have bragged, “I’m president and you’re not” to a Time reporter, to which the Twitter universe replied, respectfully, “You’re under investigation for treason, and we’re not.”

Maureen Dowd of The New York Times, who has dealt with Donald for decades, noted that in some ways he is actually ahead of schedule on that 100-day to-do list. “It took W. years to smash everything,” she said, adding (we’ll never get tired of this one), “and I can say you’re doing badly, because I’m a columnist, and you’re not. “

The failed attempt by Donald to deny Americans health care coverage, thoughtfully provided under Obamacare, is in all fairness not a measure of Trump’s success in office to date. That blame lies with the Tea Party, or Democrats, or moderate Republicans or Sen. Paul Ryan personally, depending on Donald’s dart-throwing ability that day. After all, he did manage to sign two executive orders calling for a religious test for travelers to this country. And he submitted budget proposals that would decimate the State, Energy and Environmental Protection agencies. He managed to piss off Mexico, Great Britain, Sweden, Australia and Canada — all in one weekend. And he told hunters they could use lead shot again (rumors are he plans to change the rules to make it legal to use DDT again, because lead contamination doesn’t kill wildlife quickly enough).

Okay, he sucks.

Frankly, we were expecting more from Donald the Dealmaker. His highly touted negotiating skills? “Why am I even talking to you?” and “I’m gonna come after you.” Ha ha, just joking, said the president of the United States.

By comparison, in President Barack Obama’s first 100 days, he pushed through his economic stimulus package, the American Recovery and Reinvestment Act. And the child-friendly, expanded, State Health Insurance Act. And put guidelines in place to limit the influence of lobbyists and make government more transparent. And lifted a ban on embryonic stem cell research that has led to medical advancements. And facilitated the withdrawal of troops in Iraq. And more.

President Ronald Reagan pushed through nine administration-supported bills and signed 18 executive orders; Bill Clinton, 24 and 13, respectively. Even President Jimmy Carter managed to get 22 bills passed and signed 18 executive orders in his first 100 days. Carter also pardoned Vietnam draft dodgers, bless his pea-pickin’ heart. Make that peanuts.

There’s always the chance Doomed Donald will be a late bloomer, a better president, an inspiring leader, more compassionate, a supportive spouse and a soulful companion. Or he will be one big loser. Loser, loser, loser. In his campaign vernacular, Do-Nothing Donald. Don the Con. Terrible Trump. Baron’s-not-your-baby. Molestin’ Donald. Nada Don.

We’re having fun now. God save this nation.