Jared Kushner, again, where the hell are you?
America wants to hear all about your fab Russian vacations!
Bring lots of photos and fun secret stuff to share with us and Congress. Ivanka is welcome, too. We’ll try to have champagne popsicles for her.
America and Congress would like a full report about your peace meetings with the Israelis and Palestinians. Your father-in-law told the world that peace agreements are coming “soon.” Hope he wasn’t just mouthing off again.
The Don recently Twitted, “Jared is doing a great job for the country, I have total confidence in him. He is respected by virtually everyone and is working on programs that will save our country billions of dollars. In addition to that, and perhaps more importantly, he is a very good person.”
Hmm, congressional committees investigating you and your Russian “vacations,” think you may be a Russian puppet. Kind of a nice term for treasonous asshole. Doesn’t look like you are “a very good person” if this shit is true, does it?
“Jared is under the spy glass of apparently several government investigations about his seamy ties with Russian agents,” according to one news publication. This doesn’t bode well, kid.
We all want to see those financial spreadsheets so Congress can make some swell investments and reap millions more dollars for our Treasury. We could really use the cash.
See, Jared, our cash flow is fucked, to put it mildly. You and Ivanka and The Don and Melania and all the Kushner and Trump “klan” are breaking the bank. As per some really ignorant law, you all have to be kept alive while visiting those exotic vacation spots, and that sucks — the money from those of us who work for a living.
All that crap your father-in-law fed ignorant voters about how you were going to “innovate and streamline” our government, has been his usual male bovine droppings. That’s a nice term for bullshit, son.
Your little “fake news” and ego rag, New York Observer, with its logo, “Nothing Sacred But the Truth” should maybe be changed to “Money, Power and Truth,” after you just fired four editorial staff employees for telling you the truth about yourself. You can dish it, but can’t take it, kiddie.
Congress is gonna give you prime time on teevee, so you can impress us with your fab achievements, IF you decide to show.
Bring your Russkie spy friend and banker, Sergey N. Gorkov, please.
But, most of all Jared, bring yourself. Don’t make us have to look for you, which is why we are shouting out:
“Jared Kushner, again, where the hell are you?”