In a spectacle unmatched in Washington D.C. journalistic history, Donald Trump recently held the most bizarre meeting of his complete Cabinet in the history of the nation. Hell, maybe even the world!
Surrounded by his apparently dazed and brainwashed Cabinet, he listened approvingly as each member publicly expressed sincere and loving thanks for the privilege of serving HIM!
Even Adolf Hitler, with his mad ego, never came close to such unparalleled public self-aggrandizement. The event was unsurpassed in the annals of public ass kissing by supposed adults.
One by one, the gushing members groveled and kissed Don’s feet and ass. The floor became slick with male bovine droppings. If he wore a ring like the pope, they would have kissed that, too.
It wasn’t exactly an embarrassment to witness, more like seeing a Monty Python skit. The event took the views on an emotional roller coaster of feelings, first denial, then anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance, followed by retching and falling-on-your-ass laughter.
The following is just a partial listing of the most condescending and bilious of the comments.
WARNING: May be upsetting and possibly cause a loss of bodily functions.
Vice President Mike Pence: “The greatest privilege of my life is to serve as vice president to the president who’s keeping his word to the American people.”
Reince Priebus, chief of staff: “We thank you for the opportunity and the blessing to serve your agenda.”
His public d–k sucking, topped the list of spinelessness, possibly prompted by rumors that he’s near the top of Don’s “sacking list.”
But wait, there’s more!
Alexander Acosta, secretary of labor: “I am privileged to be here — deeply honored — and I want to thank you for your commitment to the American workers.”
Never mind that the American workers Don promised to remember are getting screwed.
Attorney General Jeff Sessions: Law enforcement officers “are so thrilled that we have a new idea that we’re going to support them.”
Support? Sessions — the nation’s top justice official — is feeling so much support that he’s threatened to resign. And does that support include the men and women at the FBI?
Jim Mattis, secretary of defense: “Mr. President, it’s an honor to represent the men and women of the Department of Defense, and we are grateful for the sacrifices our people are making in order to strengthen our military so our diplomats always negotiate from a position of strength.”
How he said that without choking is phenomenal, but he deserves a salute for veering from the strictly condescending crap. A stern-faced Don seemed to notice, too, offering no “Thank you, Jim,” comment like he did the others.
CIA Director Mike Pompeo, noted that he was not going to say “a damn thing in front of the media” when it came his turn in the barrel.
Meanwhile Donald, not shy at patting himself on the back with his tiny hand, didn’t disappoint. Bragging that he had accomplished more than any president in his first six months — with “few exceptions,” he said, like President Franklin Delano Roosevelt — “We’ve been about as active as you can possibly be, and at a just about record-setting pace.”
The record-setting-pace brag is correct. Don has reached the lowest job-approval rating ever, and indeed in record-setting time.
Even though all his signature pieces of legislation have failed; even though his popularity numbers are in the toilet; even though he has yet to sign a single major piece of legislation, his bragging continues unabated. Since his first day in Washington, Don has created his own vortex of lies, hate and stupidity, and lives amid constant rancor and investigation.
Stealing The Don’s thunder, Sen. Chuck Schumer, a New York Democrat and the minority leader, was quick to stage a 25-second parody of Don’s Cabinet meeting, which was posted on Twitter to raucous acclaim.
In the video, Schumer is seated at table along with young staff members, prompting them to praise his performance on Sunday talk shows. One praises the appearance of his hair. Another repeated Priebus’ quotation word for word. Schumer, his aides and the videographer erupt into laughter as the camera careens to the floor.
If The Donald believed his sad circle jerk was going to be a public-relations gem, deflecting attention from the Russia investigations and the May 9 sacking of former FBI Director James Comey, all he panned from the swamp was fool’s gold.