“Liberals can’t seem to do anything right, huh?”
” Trump isn’t going anywhere.”
“This entire hearing was a Democratic fiasco that’s complete B.S. It’s a waste of massive amounts of tax dollars and was only a made up, B.S. ploy from the left.”
“Your side looks stupid, and that’s me being nice.”
— Average Trump Supporter
In the mornings after I shake off the grogginess and answer that “ding” on my cellphone with a glance, I always wonder, “What did the president do THIS TIME?” That wasn’t always the case, especially not under “No Drama Obama,” but in the Age of Trump, it’s a daily occurrence.
In “Trumplandia,” that imaginary land in my head where we all now reside, statements like the one above are not declarative, they usually come as a response to some news story served to a supporter of Donald Trump on social media.
Don’t worry about Donnie’s 36 percent approval rating, there’s always another poll somewhere that shows him somewhere around 60 percent, and besides, more than 80 percent of Republicans still back Trump.
Ask them why Trump would fire the head of an investigation into possible Russian ties to his campaign? It’s a Democratic trick. Ask them about Don Jr.’s meeting with Russians after he lied about meeting the Russians and you’re hit with another question: “What about Hillary’s people meeting with our Ukrainian allies and asking for information?”
It’s so hard to get answers these days.
Although it’s never polite to answer a question with a question, because Trump makes it commonplace, the practice is no longer considered rude among his followers. Trump may still be able to shoot someone on Fifth Avenue and not get arrested, and it seems he’d also have a cheering crowd to carry him down Broadway.
Sometimes when I speak to Trumpies, it’s like I woke up from a bad LSD trip, an elaborate fever dream, or I’m simply going mad.
Because they believe The Donald is making America great again, and nothing — and I mean nothing — is going to get in their way of believing that.
In the 1960s we could chalk it up to wait for it . . . “Orange Sunshine,” but today it might be something offered to you by a cool, bald-headed dude in a black raincoat.
“Take the red one and things remain the same. Take the blue one and you see how deep the rabbit hole goes,” he says. “But if you take the orange one, you’ll believe anything The Donald says, even the crazy stuff.”
But that’s too crazy, right?
Maybe it’s like another movie, that one from the ’80s called “They Live.”
In the movie, aliens come to take over the world by seizing control of the government and the upper strata of our society. Through the use of mind control and subliminal messaging, the aliens join with the wealthy to control the other 99 percent and keep them docile.
Wealthy humans are aware of the alien plot, but they are paid to keep everyone else subdued and working for the aliens. Rowdy Roddy Piper stars as a construction worker who stumbles upon the plot and joins the resistance after donning a pair of special sunglasses. The special specs the resistance to identify the aliens and see their subliminal messages.
Trumplandia feels eerily similar.
It kind of explains the flap over the continuing assassination of the Affordable Care Act and the 22 million or 30 million people who will lose healthcare.
Maybe we’re all walking around a world that’s been co-opted by aliens who have forgotten the importance of democracy. They look like us and I truly believe they want to help, but they are either brainwashed or part of the plot.
Our satellites have somehow been compromised and the internet and telecommunications systems are feeding a broadcast to our subconscious that makes the absurd somehow acceptable.
In this alternate reality, everything seems fine. Your job is still your job. Your neighbors still appear to be your neighbors, but like Rowdy Roddy Piper, I just know something is off. So I pop on my handy dandy sunglasses, the real world reveals itself, and suddenly I came here to kick butt and chew bubble gum . . . and I’m all out of bubble gum.
Since Donald J. Trump took his oath of office, I have been unable to understand how his core supporters are able to support him day after day despite all of his lies and misconduct. His supporters — and that includes all of the “Never Trump-ers” in both houses of Congress — have yet to openly question any of the outrageous statements and tweets offered by #45 on a daily basis.
At one point, Speaker of the House and Trump cuddle-buddy Paul Ryan begged the public to give Trump a break because he was a newbie and was sometimes unaware of what he was doing or saying.
I’d like to cut him a break, but he hasn’t cut me one.
Since he’s been in office, every day has been a fib fest, be it on television, radio, internet or Twitter. This guy simply lies about everything, and his supporters don’t seem to mind or care.
Trumpies angrily question any query by pivoting and blaming the massive cloud over the current administration not on the misdeeds of our president, but on his accusers. This places the media and people like “that nut job” Jim Comey or liberal “snowflakes” in an alternate universe where they are wrong for pointing out irregularities that have not been seen from any previous U.S. president.
Wonder why Trump would allege that President Obama had wiretapped his home? That was just his opinion, though no evidence was ever presented or produced.
Question why former U.S. National Security Advisor Michael Flynn was fired for lying about his dealings with the Russians, or about the three reasons given for his ouster, and you are perceived by the populous as some kind of pathetic misanthrope who may have had too much to drink or something.
And the sad thing is, you can laugh at them, but those Trumpies equal a populous. How else could they have had enough voting power to put Trump into the White House above a field of former Republican political leaders and a candidate who won the popular vote by 3 million?
More often than not, Trumpies will follow the lead of their hero and question the need for investigations, even when things look at least a little bit funny. Any such investigation becomes a frivolous Democratic witch hunt. To make matters worse, if you push too hard they’ll portray Donnie as a victim to a rigged system, yelling things like, “Enough is enough is enough! Leave the man alone and let him do his job for God’s sake!”
Yet here we are, a nation of laws run by someone with no regard for the law, who has not disclosed his tax returns, and creates such obvious conflicts of interest that he has made us learn the word “emoluments.”
Why is the indefensible being defended by common working folks?
Perhaps it’s not completely their fault.
First and foremost, Trump may not be a politician, but he is absolutely a first-rate con man. He is someone who has been able to stumble through his privileged life, not serve in the military, and amass wealth and celebrity with few of the skills most needed to be successful. He’d never even run for any political office before winning the presidency.
We know he went to college and is “very, very, very smart,” but he seems incapable of speaking in complete sentences and conveying complete thoughts without hitting runaway tangents. He is the leader of the free world as well as president of the United States following an impressive Electoral College-based victory, but if I hadn’t seen him win it with my own eyes, I wouldn’t believe it myself.
Just weeks before the election, Trump was ready to call his supporters to arms if he’d lost. He would have claimed his defeat was the result of massive voter fraud and a media conspiracy. In those days, as “Pussy-gate” raged, he said he did not believe he would win, and often said that if he lost, he was prepared to take a long vacation. But the day after Election Day, once it was clear that this anomaly had truly occurred, it became an entirely different world. It was as if aliens had landed and gained control of the minds of our nation’s leaders and many of its citizens.
Okay, maybe Trumpies are not controlled by aliens. Maybe they really believe in the guy who ran the 2013 Miss Universe pageant in Moscow, but never had any ties to Russia.
But if not aliens, why then do they continue to support Trump?
I don’t care what their hero says, I refuse to believe it’s because they are poorly educated.
I also don’t want to believe they are still on Channel Trump because they are outwardly racist.
No, I think it’s because they are plain old stubborn and somehow believe following this evil pied piper down the primrose path presents a spiteful path to payback for all those smug liberals they’ve despised for the last eight years.
I never question anyone’s right to decide, as it’s one of the most fundamental rights our Constitution provides. But at some point everyone has to stop worrying about payback and start doing what is right.
We may be liberal, but we aren’t under any spell. Simply put, the guy running our country is not presidential and all the things he does are not okay.
Well, I tried. Whup, there goes my phone again . . .
Okay, let’s take off our sunglasses now and get back to the real world. Don’t worry, it’s not like we’re going to wake up and find out that everything we’ve been told is a lie, right? That would be jolting! So let me ease you back in the real world with the gentle words of a Trumpie, who lovingly told me how stupid I was for not seeing the world through orange-colored glasses.
“You are losing heavy ground day by day.”
“The division is growing based on things like supporting hate groups, liberal mentality and directives, as well as not knowing any boundaries as far as respecting the legitimacy of the Oval Office. He’s our president, thankfully.”
“But the Democratic Party is an enormous s#*tshow that is falling apart at the seams.”
“It’s going to be a long four years. We have openings on our side man . . .”
Yep, he still believes!