Pedophilia goes so much better with a shot of caffeine

Over a cup of joe fresh from my Keurig this morning, I joined the neighbors musing over Sean Hannity’s recent yap session about alleged pedophile and Christian icon Judge Roy Moore. Hiz Honor denies hanging out at high school football games and malls trolling for lovely children. Sean believes him, and so do a lot of unabashed Christians, some of them living in my white bread, golf cart heaven of a neighborhood.

The discussion focused on USA Today’s report that conservatives are destroying their Keurigs after the coffee giant decided to pull its advertising from Hannity’s show over his lenient view of the allegations that are currently singeing Moore’s pious soul, exposing the blackness of his heart.

Without morning coffee the stakes rose higher. Morning chitchat with the Guns & Jesus set can get testy when folks haven’t had their morning shot of caffeine, and I don’t even live in Alabama. Might be best to not irritate folks down South until they all get new coffee makers.

Meanwhile, the Alabama Senate candidate and religious-right saint denies sexual contact with any children without consent, whatever that means, and it seems he’s forgotten about the 14 year old.

His excuses don’t provide much clarity for why a mature man in his 30s was chasing sweet young things through the mall. That is just wrong on about 40 different levels — unless you’re lost in a place where your moral compass allows the age disparity between Mary and Joseph to cast Judge Roy Moore’s actions in a wholesome light.

*  *  *

Half a world away from Alabama, Mr. Trump was jetting home from his doublespeak tour of Asia where he made a fool out of America with some of its most important trading partners. He either sucked up to, or tongue-lashed all his hosts and their economic partners with his elocutory finesse and rapier wit. The Asians responded with obsequious flattery for the idiot America sent to out-deal them.

Meanwhile, Mr. Trump’s former customers and treaty partners sealed an economic deal of their own that left the U.S.  floundering in deep waters along the world’s busiest sea lanes. The Regional Comprehensive Economic Partnership (RCEP) is a free-trade agreement among Brunei, Cambodia, Indonesia, Laos, Malaysia, Myanmar, the Philippines, Singapore, Thailand and Vietnam. Trump ran one hell of a bargaining session, because we lost access to welcoming ports that sustain commerce with the rimlands of Asia and the Indian Ocean archipelago.

Seeing it happen was like watching an arrogant white man playing Mah-jong with ancient Asian ladies. At the end of the game, the white man owes them everything but his underwear, and only modesty prevents them from collecting that.

Overwhelmed by the respect and gratitude of our former trading partners, Mr. Trump moved on to the Philippines for his date with despot and murdering thug Philippine President Rodrigo Duterte. The singing strongman and Mr. Trump speak the same language on human rights, meaning that neither of them is familiar with the concept.

Duterte has a Commie-Muslim uprising to fight, drug dealers to murder, and a political system to corrupt. With few friends except the United States willing to pay the freight for resisting them, Trump is the perfect shill.

Meanwhile back home, the stock market is suddenly heading down on suspicions that the Trump tax reform mandates are floundering on the dock. Suddenly all those dandy loopholes, hidey-holes and sinkholes that perforate the tax code aren’t looking so bad.

The poor and working classes are spavined mules ripe for more flogging, and the wealthy and corporations are still shipping all their dough to overseas accounts under so many assumed names they look like countries. The notion that U.S. corporations will have to return trillions of dollars from offshore holding accounts for taxation in return for a lower corporate tax rate is fraught with hidden dangers — like compliance.

Now that Democrats are gaining traction in a few traditionally Republican strongholds, the movers and shakers with their cash stashed in sock drawers are looking past Mr. Trump’s failing administration to a vengeful Democratic one.

Big money doesn’t like government interference and the Democrats will be be sporting an in-your-face mood once they prevail in Congress. Democrats powered by self-righteous wrath and a new determination can prevail in 2018, but only if they get it together better than the Republicans.


3 thoughts on “Pedophilia goes so much better with a shot of caffeine

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