Trumplandia: Dec. 30, 2017 — Jan. 6, 2018

New Year Edition

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APPROVAL ALERT AT PRESS TIME:
Gallup Poll: 39% — up from 35% last time
Rasmussen Poll: 44% — same as last time

Welcome to Trumplandia, a place where with a bit of wit and snark, we keep the world caught up on all of the tasty Nuggets- O-Trump you may have heard about, but were too busy to care. Because most of this minutia occurs just below the massive headlines about the POTUS, it’s in a land of its own. Here, an infusion of social media, video clips and print media meld with our outdated political views to make more delicious “Fake News” about our Commander-in-Chief.

So just like the President, we start it all with a little Tweet like this:

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A Nuclear Cockfight

The week of our Trump — Dec. 30, 2017:  A new year started this week with all of the hope and wonder that comes with turning a new page and starting a new chapter.

After observing days of golf at Mar-a-Lago, his Palm Beach resort, and a relatively quiet Twitter account, one could almost trick themselves into believing that maybe 2017 was a bad dream and we’d awakened to a new reality.

After all, Trump broke from his lavish party to wish the country a Happy New Year at 6:43 p.m. and then fell silent for the rest of the night.

Earlier, we’d been treated to a New Year’s message from North Korean leader Kim Jung-un that we were again facing the prospect of a nuclear holocaust.

In this new chapter of an ongoing tiff, Trump addressed the comments during his New Years Eve bash after reporters brought it to his attention.

Reporters quizzed Trump about an earlier statement from “Little Rocket Man” that referenced a plan to begin peace discussions with the west but also boasted the Hermit Kingdom’s ability to reach the mainland United States with a nuclear weapon.

When asked about Kim’s boast, Trump responded with a telltale, “We’ll see.”

As morning broke, however, we were reminded that our New Year’s baby was the same old Dickie Donald who has butchered democracy and punished our civil liberties since his inauguration.

Beginning at 7:12 a.m. on Jan. 1, Trump’s Twitter account came alive, first with a Tweet about money to Pakistan, protests in Iran, his planned exit from Florida, and of course the failed policies of the previous administration.

By Jan. 2 he was back in full force with the unleashing of a torrent of Tweets filled with all of the usual suspects: Iran, Hillary Clinton, Fox and Friends, the tax bill, the Fake News Media, and of course, North Korea’s leader “Rocket Man,” and all that was before 10 a.m.

With the tape measure back out between the two weenies in North Korea and Washington D.C., we had come full circle and were again preparing our bomb shelters largely due to the whims of two inadequate world leaders.

Suddenly the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention’s planned session on Jan. 16 to discuss “personal safety measures and the training of response teams” ahead of a nuclear bombing looms as more meaningful.

At press time, the White House prepared stricter sanctions for North Korea and Orange Julius Caesar hailed his strategy and stance on the communist nation as the motivation behind planned talks between the two Koreas.

So much for all’s quiet on the eastern front.

Cease and Desist!

71C6AF09-7AE8-488C-83CC-E568922480C3If the first week of 2018 has been any indication, this year could be a very litigious one in the White House.

On Jan. 3, Paul Manafort, Trump’s former campaign chairman and target of the investigation into possible Russian interference in the presidential election of 2016, sued Special Counsel Robert Mueller and the U.S. Justice Department for overstepping the bounds of the investigation.

The lawsuit also focuses on Deputy Attorney General Rod Rosenstein, who is overseeing the investigation, and challenges the “scope of his authority.”

Manafort was indicted in October 2017 on charges that included money laundering and conspiracy related to his lobbying work on behalf of the Ukrainian political party with ties to Russia.

The lawsuit says Mueller is looking into decade-old business dealings and not ties between the Trump campaign and Russia following up to the 2016 presidential election. It also states that Rosenstein’s order regarding the use of special counsel was too broad and calls for the investigation into his affairs to be struck down as an “abuse of discretion.”

On the same day, the White House banned its employees from using their personal cellphones while at work as a security measure. A White House spokesperson said staffers will instead be forced to conduct business with the outside by way of their government-issued devices.

Although the policy change was said to not be tied to unauthorized disclosures or leaks, the change in public policy comes about a week after New York Times reporter Michael Schmidt sprung an attack on The Donald, surprising various staffers and aides.

The Dec. 28, 2017 interview with “the failing New York Times” came at the expense of the Trump-friendly Newsmax.com editor Christopher Ruddy, who invited the reporter to Mar-a-Lago for lunch.

Ruddy said he did not plan or set up the 30-minute interview, but that it occurred without the presence of support staff and caught everyone off guard.

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Legal wrangling with undue “Fire and Fury”

On the night of Jan. 3, attorneys representing the president sent a “cease and desist” order to Trump’s formerly favorite Nazi, Stephen Bannon, demanding that he refrain from making disparaging comments against the president and his family. Bannon’s comments are part of an upcoming book: “Fire and Fury: Inside the Trump White House” from journalist Michael Wolff, that were made public earlier in the day.

The book paints a picture of a dysfunctional White House under Trump with highlighted quotes from Bannon depicting his former employer as “an undisciplined man-child” who never wanted to be president. Bannon went on to label a controversial 2016 meeting called by Donald Trump, Jr. with a group of Russians in Trump Tower as “treasonous.”

Issued by Charles J. Harder, Esq. of Harder Mirell & Abrams, the cease-and-desist letter stated that Bannon’s communications with Wolff represented “libel and slander” and a breach of his written confidentiality and non-disparagement agreement.

On Jan. 4, Harder also issued a cease and desist letter to Wolff and his publisher, Henry Holt and Co.

It demanded a halt to publication of the book or excerpts, and a full and complete retraction and apology to Trump. The law firm also asked for the immediate forwarding of an electronic and hard copy of the book to their offices in California.

Later that night, the president went after the credibility of the author in a Tweet in which he questioned Wolff’s past and ominously wondered about the writer’s future and that of former White House adviser “Sloppy Steve” Bannon.

While many saw all the legal action attempting to stop the publication of the book as a violation of the First Amendment, Press Secretary Sarah Sanders differed.

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She went on to to say she was disgusted at claims made by Bannon about the president and his family, characterizing them as “completely false claims.” The Republican Party itself pushed back against the author and released an inflammatory Tweet that attacked Wolff as a liar, phony and “famous bloviator.”

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However, the Trump legal threat did nothing to deter the release of the book, which was out on Jan. 5, four days before its planned release. The author thanked Trump for all of the free advertising and wondered where to send a box of chocolates for turning his book into an instant bestseller.

Meanwhile at the Winter White House . . .

Since officially beginning his vacation on Dec. 22, 2017, our Commander-in-Golf has played golf, golf and more golf. The president’s numerous golfing excursions were the subject of various reports from CNN, which documented Trump’s daily trips to the links.

On Dec. 27, a white truck, later learned to belong to a private citizen, started blocking the news network’s ability to film Trump’s seemingly daily romps on the course in Palm Beach.

Despite the obstructive truck, it was thought that our Commander-in-Golf putted his little white balls right up until the end of 2017.

According to news reports, the Trumps welcomed hundreds of people to Mar-a-Lago for their New Year’s Eve bash. The party was attended by luminaries that included Treasury Secretary Steven Mnuchin, former New York Met Keith Hernandez, and the president’s three oldest children.

Dressed formally in a black tuxedo and accompanied by FLOTUS Melania and son Barron, Trump entered his shindig after a chat with reporters that predicted a “fantastic 2018” and a continued rise in the U.S. stock market.

Before night’s end, Trump’s attention had turned to North Korea, where its leader was boasting the possibility of shooting off more of his special fireworks than was previously reported.

However, while Barron and the other children played in Florida, Tiffany, the sole offspring of Mr. Stamina and Marla Maples, did some playing of her own on the left coast.

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Tiffany Trump, currently a law student at Georgetown University, was the guest of honor at a Playboy magazine event held by the son of late legend Hugh Hefner.

Held at LA’s Culver Hotel by Cooper Hefner, the night’s events were chronicled by former 1979 Playboy centerfold and Chicago Tribune social columnist, Candace Jordan.

We can only suspect Trump’s daughter kept it classy.

What is And What Should Never Be

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Earlier in the week, Trump announced he would hold “The Most Dishonest & Corrupt Media Awards of the Year” at 5 p.m. on Monday. Although the awards for Fake Media were overshadowed by the stream of legal actions and release of the Wolff book, comedian Stephen Colbert jumped directly into the breach.

Colbert, who has been an outspoken Trump critic, campaigned for the honor two nights later on Jan. 3 during his  “Late Show” telecast.

Colbert went as far as to take a billboard in Times Square to curry favor with the president.

Anticipated for Jan. 8 or perhaps a complete joke? No one has said anything more about the possible presidential awards show.

Another tasty Nugget-o-Trump came on Jan. 4 from former White House spokesman Anthony Scaramucci. While being interviewed by MSNBC journalist Stephanie Ruhle on her show, “the Mooch” confessed his undying admiration for his former employer.

Interviewed about the atmosphere in the White House and Trump’s mental competency, Scaramucci likened #45 to Teddy Roosevelt. He said Trump was like Roosevelt because both like to “walk softly and carry a big stick,” and that trust buster Psycho Don is going after the robber barons of this era by bringing money back to the people.

So passionate about this belief is Scaramucci that he said Trump is listed in his personal cellphone under the alias of Ted Rose, a play on the name of the 26th president.

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2 thoughts on “Trumplandia: Dec. 30, 2017 — Jan. 6, 2018

  1. Figures that Scaramucci would get the TR quote wrong. It’s actually “Speak softly and carry a big stick.” In other words keep your fool mouth shut! Also, The Daily Show with Trevor Noah had a full page ad in the NY Times yesterday “for your consideration’ for 45’s fake news awards. This is getting almost entertaining.

    Liked by 1 person

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