Does he or doesn’t he? Only his hairdresser knows for sure

Brother Eric Greitens, the Honorable Governor of Missouri, the quintessential modern Republican manly man, is sucking wind.

Elected in November 2016, the 43-year-old is often portrayed as a handsome, dynamic, patriot, Rhodes scholar, war hero, Navy SEAL, and since last Thursday, an indicted man, accused of a felony for taking pictures while diddling his personal hairdresser.

During one tryst, a blindfolded Lady X claims Greitens told her: “You’re never going to mention my name, otherwise, there will be pictures everywhere.”

That portrayal is not exactly like the father of two who humbly sells himself as a man of the people, a man for Missouri families, a man for gun rights, for farmers . . . and hairdressers.

A St. Louis grand jury says Greitens photographed the unidentified woman in a “state of full or partial nudity without her “knowledge and consent.'” Greitens allegedly wielded his camera “in a place where a person would have a reasonable expectation of privacy, and the defendant subsequently transmitted the image in a manner that allowed access via a computer.”


Greitens’ alleged naughty time was revealed in early January when the woman’s cuckolded former husband shared an electronic recording of an intimate conversations about Greitens that ended up in the hands of the law. The cuckold made the recording without his ex-wife’s knowledge, according to the prosecutor’s office.

A month after the story popped up, Greitens was popped into a St. Louis Police Department booking cage on a felony invasion of privacy charge. Wearing an open-neck dress shirt and a frown, Greitens’ mug shot ended up on the front page of every newspaper in Missouri.

Greitens says he is innocent. As soon as his indictment was released last week, his attorneys filed a motion to dismiss in the St. Louis Circuit Court. It was an unusual motion to file because felony cases cannot be dismissed in Missouri without normal adjudication.

“The people of Missouri deserve better than a reckless liberal prosecutor who uses her office to score political points,” Greitens said, referring to St. Louis Circuit Attorney Kim Gardner. Greitens’ Republican allies claim that Gardner, a Democrat, received $200,000 in contributions from liberal financier George Soros.

The case is already a political and legal hot potato over allegations and insinuations that Gardner, a former state representative, is playing fast and loose with Greitens’ sensitive political position. The state’s first black woman elected to the circuit attorney’s office has been a source of controversy since she arrived in January 2017.

In the topsy-turvy political  history of Missouri, St. Louis and Kansas City have been traditionally Democratic strongholds where voters outnumber the rest of the state’s citizens when they bother to vote. Republicans, already on shaky ground thanks largely to Lyin’ Donald Trump  and Sen. Roy “Gimme Some More Of That Money” Blunt, the NRA’s bought boy in Missouri, who say they want to study the allegations. Democrats, smelling blood, want to kick Greitens out just as quickly as an article of impeachment can be arranged.

During his campaign, the smiling governor — who often uses machine guns for advertising props — said, “I’m Eric Greitens, I’m a Navy SEAL, native Missourian and most importantly, a proud husband and father.”

Now as governor, Greitens has changed his tune a bit, admitting that he made a mistake by having an extramarital affair, but that he “did not commit a crime.”


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