Trumplandia: Apr. 7 — 14, 2018

Catch-And-Kill Edition

* No animals were harmed in the posting of this material

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APPROVAL ALERT AT PRESS TIME:
Gallup Poll: 41% — up from 39% last week
Rasmussen Poll: 50% — up from 47% last week

Welcome to Trumplandia, a place where with a bit of wit and snark, we keep the world caught up on all of the tasty Nuggets- O-Trump you may have heard about, but were too busy to care. Because most of this minutia occurs just below the massive headlines about the POTUS, it’s in a land of its own. Here, an infusion of social media, video clips and print media meld with our outdated political views to make more delicious “Fake News” about our Commander-in-Chief.

So just like the president, we start it all with a little tweet like this:

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Season Of The Witch

The week of our Trump — Apr. 7, 2018: Leave it to a guy who has bragged about grabbing wanton female fans by their private parts to educate the public on what type of person could patent a practice to suppress news and accusers with hush money.

The public learned about “catch-and-kill,” the backroom practice that has allegedly been used by the president and others to suppress embarrassing information by paying hush money to those aware of incriminating information and requiring them to sign an ironclad contract to not discuss it.

This week, the Pussy-Grabber-in-Chief spent much of his time seemingly ensnared in a trap of his own making that crescendoed with law enforcement seizing documents from his personal attorney Michael Cohen as part of a Department of Justice criminal investigation.

This all came while Mr. Stamina battled the media, the investigation of Special Counsel Robert Mueller, and a chemical attack in Syria that appeared to ultimately force him to break his unwavering support for Russia and his boy toy’s ally, Syria.

The FBI raided the offices, home and Park Avenue hotel room of Cohen, known as the Trump’s “fixer” on April 9, just days after the president denied having any ties to the non-disclosure agreement that had silenced adult film star Stormy Daniels, an alleged mistress of Trump’s.

Trump was questioned last week about his ties to the NDA and said he was unaware of the agreement that paid Daniels — aka Stephanie Clifford, aka Peggy Peterson — $130,000 to remain silent about an alleged affair she had with the billionaire in 2006.

The president’s disclosure was significant because it was the first time he addressed the agreement allegedly forged between him and Daniels days before the 2016 presidential election.

The comment appeared to throw Cohen under the bus after the barrister for months had stated he personally paid the porn star hush money for her allegations against his client and that she was bound to remain silent about the affair or face a $1 million fine every time she spoke about it in public.

Trump has vigorously denied the affair and early on denied knowing Daniels, who outlined their months-long romp in an interview last month on “60 minutes.”

Daniels’ attorney Michael Avenatti, has attempted to render the NDA null and void because not only was the agreement not signed by Trump, but also because if Trump did not create a contract to silence the actress about his time with her, why would she have to remain silent?

As speculation grew following Trump’s claimed ignorance of the NDA, reports linked Cohen to attorney Keith Davidson, who represented the actress at the time she signed it.

Davidson also represented former Playboy model Karen McDougal, who also alleges to have had an affair with Trump during the same time period in 2006 after now-FLOTUS Melania Trump gave birth to their son, Barron.

According to press reports, McDougal, who was paid $150,000 by the owners of the National Enquirer — American Media Inc. (AMI) for her story, is suing Davidson, claiming he was working closely with representatives from the Trump camp, while legally representing her.

McDougal claims her story, which was never published by the tabloid and was suppressed as part of the “catch-and-kill” strategy employed by David Pecker, chief executive of AMI and a close friend of Trump’s, was a cogent strategy to silence her and make sure news of the affair never reached the public.

As part of the raid on Cohen’s offices and home, federal prosecutors reportedly are looking for records related to both women, the possible strategy to silence their dalliances with Trump, and where payments of such agreements with or without the president’s knowledge fit into campaign laws.

The raids set off a Trump tweet storm that proclaimed the FBI broke into his attorney’s offices, violated his attorney/client privilege and is “total witch hunt.”

The raids, which appeared to surprise both the president and Cohen, were approved by Geoffrey Berman, U.S. Attorney for New York’s Southern District, who was handpicked by Trump, and was signed off on by a federal judge.

The action was also approved by Deputy Attorney General Rod Rosenstein, who appointed Mueller to head the probe into Russian interference in the 2016 election and any possible ties to President Trump. Media speculation points to Rosenstein as being in Trump’s crosshairs for firing and replacement with an ally who will ultimately fire Special Counsel Mueller and therefore end the probe into Trump and his alleged ties to Russian collusion.

Cohen has reportedly been under criminal investigation for months regarding his business dealings. On April 12, attorneys for Cohen and Trump filed legal actions that sought to restrict the documents viewed by prosecutors until an independent third party can be appointed by the court.

Bombs Away!

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A coordinated military action was launched last night into Syria, responding to a chemical attack against civilians in that country by its leaders last week.

The allied cruise missile attack launched by the United States, United Kingdom and France was aimed at three areas in Syria, including two weapons-storage areas in Homs, and a scientific research center in Damascus, according to news sources. Warships from the three nations hurled some 120 cruise missiles into Syria, targeting the military operations of President Bashar al-Assad’s government.

Russian anti-missile defenses were online for its ally but did not attempt to stop the attack despite stating a plan to do so earlier in the day, according to military sources. About a week in the making, the attack was officially announced by Trump on national television just after 9 p.m. EST.

Trump said the coordinated attacks were part of a campaign to end Syria’s use of chemical weapons. He said the United States is prepared to sustain military pressure on Syria to ensure no further chemical attacks would occur.

Because Assad’s government takes its lessons in truth-telling from its allies in Russia, it has been difficult to tell who dropped the chemical weapons from aircraft into an area that has been rebelling against traditional Syrian forces for a number of years.

Trump’s tough talk on Twitter leading up to the delayed allied response allowed the Syrian military to move its forces and aircraft to Russian bases at Latakia, Tartus and Khmeimim, according to reports from the BBC.

The allied attack is the second such military action on the country in a year. Following an alleged gassing of citizens last year, Trump launched a Tomahawk cruise missile attack on an airbase.

Since 2014 U.S. efforts have focused on forcing Assad to leave the country while the U.S. looked to back rebel forces. Assad has remained in power with Russia’s backing, but Russia has also aided U.S. forces in targeting ISIS forces in the region.

You Ought To Be In Pictures

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On Apr. 9, Angela China’s painting “The Emperor’s New Clothes” was exhibited during the Tribeca Ball fund-raiser for the New York Academy of Art. Depicting an orgy with accused sexual predators: Bill Cosby, Harvey Weinstein, President Trump and Kevin Spacey, the piece was inspired by Picasso’s 1907 work “Les Demoiselles d’Avignon.”

The painting is being sold for $30,000, and China is considering offering the proceeds to amfAR for the charity’s May 17 gala in Cannes, France to combat AIDS.

At press time, the White House had not commented on the painting.

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The cover of the April 23 edition of Time will feature a reboot of the news magazine’s cover of Psycho Don at his desk in the Oval Office.

Brooklyn artist Tim O’Brien crafted the original Trump cover about a year ago. According to Time, he asked to reboot the cover to depict the swirling controversies surrounding the current White House.

The planned cover will show Trump again at his desk in the Oval Office, but this time being consumed by rising floodwaters with a stormy backdrop.

O’Brien said he painted the original “Nothing to See Here’ cover last year with the assumption that all of the chaos and dysfunction in the White House was a passing fad. Now, he says, he was wrong.

Time asked O’Brien to “reimagine” the cover from a year ago. He decided to go with the storm metaphor, which he said was “as timely as ever.

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