Donnie’s ratings dive

My dream might actually be coming true. No, not $10 million and a private island dream, but the one where Trump’s biggest weapon — the media — is finally turning on him.

His “60 Minutes” interview on Oct. 14 was, let’s just say, nothing to write home about; it was as flaccid as his fascist fiddle-diddle. And to even out the score a bit, Stormy Daniels (you may have heard of her) actually nailed her own “60 Minutes” interview with 22 million viewers way back in March. That feels like a #MeToo moment to me! Apparently she enrages the president so much he decided to call poor Stormy “Horseface” on Twitter:

Naturally, she obliged his tweet with a response:

Such an intellectual treat when a porn star can outdo the leader of the free world on Twitter and we all get to watch these historically unhinged and amoral moments in real time. I mean really, how dare we question the religious right’s loyalty towards this so-called president! How could the evangelicals NOT endorse such a righteous man? And of course their god is voting for Trump and his “American values!”

But back to the real headline, and my so-called pipe dream:

Another bit of icing on this dirty little cake is that Trump’s interview went up against one of his nemeses, the NFL. Sorry Donnie, but even the “sons of bitches” mob that is the NFL beat you in the ratings game (22 million viewers).

There is good news though. Your favourite doppelgänger, Alec Baldwin, flopped even more than your hair in a hurricane as his new talk show only took in about 6 million viewers. Also, your wife’s pathetic piece of propaganda on ABC last week was a sad tale with only 4.10 million viewers. So I guess there’s that, Donnie!

Hey! Cheer up big guy! You could become the new and Improved Daytime Donnie alongside “The View” or something. It’ll be fantastic! Spectacular! Bigly! It’s never been done before. Believe me!!

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I don’t care if it’s just a money and ratings issue, but this new trend shows that the World’s Most Orange Con Man has stayed in town too long; they’ve figured out his con. Interestingly enough, the “Ten Commandments for Con Men” (attributed to Victor Lustig) suggests that the Trumpster can’t even get his con artist career right. Oh well. Maybe Ivana can help him hawk shit on The Shopping Channel. You never know — one president’s golden garbage is another man’s Trumpster-dumpster treasure!

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You know what is the best part about this whole new media melodrama? That all of this is happening right before the November “ratings sweep” of the midterm elections!

Ladies and gentlemen, what we have here is one hell of a wet dream. Wake me when it’s over. But not until you’ve voted.

4 thoughts on “Donnie’s ratings dive

  1. His Imperial Nakedness makes me glad once again that I don’t watch TV. As things are now, I’d certainly haul the damn thing out to the boonies for some target practice.

    Liked by 1 person

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