Welcome, my friends, to the world’s newest Bananas Republic, otherwise known as the United States of America.
This isn’t that clothing store that once sold stuff you could wear to Third World countries, this one is as real as us. We’re a Bananas Republic because the faux-orange- haired fool at the helm of our listing, sinking ship is literally bananas, a moniker that is really more kind than it could be for someone who is actually just plain f’n nuts.
Last week there was a serial mail bomber running loose, the subject of a nationwide manhunt.
With just a handful of days before our midterm elections, pipe bombs were delivered to high-profile members of the opposition party and his media nemesis CNN, who have been critical of Oval Office Occupant Donald.
Trump and his braying supporters suggested that the Democrats were sending the packages to themselves as a way of diverting attention from the Republicans before the midterms.
The self-proclaimed world’s greatest prognosticator was — gasp — wrong. The perp who allegedly mailed the dud bombs was a registered Trumplican. Driving a Trumplican-stickered van and sloppy with his DNA, suspect Cesar Sayoc Jr., 56, of Aventura, Fla., was quickly apprehended last week by the FBI agents Trump so loathes.
Then, just a day after Sayoc was reeled in down in Florida, a guy with a gun stepped into a synagogue in Pittsburgh and murdered 11 people. Robert Bowers, a 46-year-old resident of that city with a habit of sharing anti-Semitic conspiracy theories on social media sites, was arrested after a gun battle with police.
Trump? More guns needed in houses of worship, he said. He then went ahead with a planned rally in Illinois the night of the shooting, and insisted on traveling to Pittsburgh while funerals for the victims were still taking place, despite being asked by the city’s mayor not to come.
During his short time in office, Trump has consistently painted the media as “enemies of the people,” and reporting of his daily lies as “fake news.” The majority of his worshippers believe media with opposing views should be shuttered. As does he.
We live in a nation where in many places, you can openly carry a pistol, rifle, shotgun or semi-automatic military assault weapon attached to your body as you casually walk your dog or shop for groceries. You can have a social media hate page, threatening to kill the perceived enemies of the head of state, and when you do, Psycho Don brushes it off. Like any despot in a Bananas Republic.
Our nation was once led by responsible, responsive men who would have condemned events like the spate of package bombs as a vile, unconscionable act. Not in this newest Bananas country. Instead, the top Banana went on national tour and blamed someone else. His worshippers cheered.
During the first weeks of 1933, the Nazi regime used the radio, press, and newsreels to stoke fears of a pending “Communist uprising,” then channeled those anxieties into political measures that eradicated civil liberties and democracy. Trump is using his office and taxpayer dollars to stump the country, telling his faithful that Democrats “will overturn everything that we’ve done, and they’ll do it quickly and violently.”
Bananas Trump claimed during his 2016 campaign that if he weren’t elected, Trumplicans would riot in the streets. Unfortunately, we never got to test his claim. Instead, an entire gender took to the streets — women. (There were also some of us men.) Psycho Don’s lawyer claims that if his client were to be impeached, people will take to the streets and riot. These are threats that despots use.
The most despicable, murderous leaders in the world are the ones who appeal to Donald. His propensity to admire these thugs because they can murder their critics or have them suddenly disappear leads one to believe that he’s envious.
With the Bananas Republican moment-of-truth vote only days away, will Democrats become the wave or just the water?