The Young and the Beautiful: Thanksgiving Edition — You’re All Served

Our Young and Beautiful couple, Ivy and Jerry, are still mired in the swamp, despite their attempts to escape back to the fabled Isle of Manhattan. Today we catch up with them in their tastefully decorated home within a few miles of the White Palace, where Ivy’s father, King Donald I, continues with his reign of terror. Ivy is seated at a French Provincial desk, frowning over a chessboard and some menus. On closer look, we see that the chess pieces each bear the name and likeness of a member of Ivy’s family. Enter Jerry.


logoJerry: Why so lost in thought, my harvest princess? I thought you gave up your schmata business, and yet I see your worktable is covered with papers.
Ivy: This is not for any business venture. I am planning the Thanksgiving Feast for my father at the White Palace.
Jerry: If I may be permitted a small joke? Your sire’s culinary preferences would be better served by a feast at White Castle.
Ivy: I appreciate your attempt at levity, but this is serious. My half-sister Cartier has demanded to be seated at the adult table, and it’s throwing off my carefully plotted place settings. And my brother Tweedledum has left his wife and is bringing a tart to dinner.
Jerry: I do hope it’s an apple tart. That’s my favorite. But I have not come here to discuss table settings. I come with an urgent summons from the White Palace. It seems the Thanksgiving Feast itself is in jeopardy this year. Your Father is refusing to pardon the royal turkey.
Ivy: Let us make haste! There is no time to lose.

At the White Palace. Ivy and Jerry are shown into the Rose Garden, where the King and a large turkey are staring each other down. The sound of stiletto heels is heard as Lady Melania stomps off, giving a glimpse of the back of her jacket, which reads “I don’t feel thankful, do U?“

Ivy: What is the matter, Father? Why will you not pardon this turkey, as is royal custom?
King: Lady Melania does not like the way the turkey looked at her. She demands the turkey be fired instead. Did King Obama ever pardon a turkey?
Ivy: Yes, sire, he pardoned a turkey every year he lived in the White Palace. You cannot let yourself look less merciful than Obama.
King: In that case, I hereby pardon ALL turkeys. No turkey is to be eaten this year. The official feast will consist of Big Macs and Diet Coke.
Ivy: But sire, think of the farmers. They will lose all their money if no one buys turkey and all the trimmings. Please, Father, just pardon this turkey and make Thanksgiving great again.
King: I can’t say no to my little princess! I now pardon this turkey and declare a national day of thanks to me for being such a wonderful king.

And so, thanks to the feckless Ivy, there is great rejoicing throughout the land as the great feast is saved for another year. A Happy Thanksgiving to all!

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