Out with The Old, In with The New Edition
APPROVAL ALERT AT PRESS TIME:
Gallup Poll: 39% — same as last week
Rasmussen Poll: 46% — down from 47% last week
Welcome to Trumplandia, a place where with a bit of wit and snark, we keep the world caught up on all of the tasty Nuggets-O-Trump you may have heard about but were too busy to care. Because most of this minutia occurs just below the massive headlines about the POTUS, it’s in a land of its own. Here, an infusion of social media, video clips and print media meld with our outdated political views to make more delicious “Fake News” about our Commander-in-Chief.
So just like the president, we start it all with a little tweet like this:
D-Day
The week of our Trump — Dec. 29, 2018: Democratic members of the 160th U.S. Congress swept onto Capitol Hill this week like a victorious, invading army led by it’s “new” general Rep. Nancy Pelosi (D-Cal.) and bevy of new legislators hellbent on placing a check on the lawless Trump White House.
Termed “D-Day” for the wave of unstoppable new legislators, the most diverse legislative class in U.S. history was tasked with attempting to reopen the federal government with a funding bill, which was approved by the House of Representatives on Jan. 3.
However, a lack of funding for the Toddler-in-Chief’s southwestern border wall thwarted the group’s first bit of legislation after the bill was not brought to the Senate for a vote and openly rebuffed by President Trump.
Trump met with members of Congress a second time about the partial government shutdown yesterday and again failed to reach a deal after two weeks of shutdown that has left 800,000 federal workers furloughed or working for free.
Pelosi described yesterday’s meeting as “contentious.”
The Wall Street Journal reported yesterday’s meeting between the two sides began with a 15-minute “profanity-laced” tirade from Trump, who was said to have begun screaming about impeachment.
Democratic leaders said Trump’s tactics were analogous to holding federal workers hostage for a wall that is an unnecessary expense, especially when Trump spent much of his 2016 campaign for president boasting about Mexico paying for the border wall.
While Trump seemed to suggest progress had been made during yesterday’s meeting, Sen. Chuck Schumer said there was no end in sight for the government closure. Schumer said Trump again said he would keep the government shut for a very long period of time, be it months or years, unless he gets at least $5 billion for his wall.
The president later confirmed he was considering declaring a national emergency to have the border wall built by the military and without congressional approval.
“We can call a national emergency (to build a border wall) because of the security of our country,” he told reporters during a brief press conference yesterday. “I may do it. If we can do it through a negotiated process, we’re giving it a shot.”
During a December meeting, officials from the Department of Homeland Security met with Trump to explore the use of military funding. CNN reported Pentagon officials identified as much as $1 -2 billion that could be set aside from the Defense Department budget to fund construction of Trump’s wall.
Much was made of a Rep. Rashida Tlaib (D-Mich.) who said during a celebration on Jan. 3 that she looked to “go in there and impeach the motherf*#ker!”
Pelosi said impeachment is not a current priority of the incoming Congress, however, earlier in the day House Democrat, Rep. Brad Sherman, D-Calif., reintroduced articles of impeachment against Trump.
Sherman, along with Rep. Al Green of Texas and Steve Cohen of Tennessee, introduced resolutions to impeach Trump in 2017. Sherman said the goal of reintroducing such legislation is to force a conversation, especially in the area of possible obstruction of justice.
Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell, R-Ky., said Trump agreed to designate staff to further negotiate with members of Congress over the weekend. The group, which is expected to include Vice President Mike Pence and Trump son-in-law and aide Jared Kushner.
A Kick in the Pants
Barricaded in the West Wing for the start of the new year, Trump kicked off his 2019 by receiving a firm kick in the pants from an old nemesis — newly sworn-in Sen. Mitt Romney of Utah.
Romney, the wishy-washy Republican who openly defied Trump’s presidential run by funding a search for a new GOP nominee right up until the party convention, opened a new chapter in his relationship with the president by publishing a New Year’s Day Op-Ed in the Jeff Bezos-owned Washington Post.
Focusing largely on Donnie Dimwit’s impact on the American image abroad, Mittens ripped the president for an apparent lack of leadership.
“With a nation so divided, resentful, and angry, presidential leadership in qualities of character is indispensable,” Romney wrote in the Post op-ed. “And it is in this province where the incumbent’s shortfall has been most glaring.”
The 2012 GOP presidential candidate and former corporate raider said he planned to speak out against any of Trump’s statements that were divisive, racist, sexist, anti-immigrant, dishonest or destructive to democratic institutions, noting that Trump “has not risen to the mantle of the office,” but also stating he was impressed by the billionaire developer’s “transition effort.”
A day later, former Democratic Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid deemed Trump the nation’s worst president in history and an “amoral” person.
Such criticism did not go unnoticed by Twittler, who lashed out at Romney as the guy who should have fought harder to beat President Barack Obama.
Later that afternoon, Trump assured White House pool reporters that Romney would soon become a team player. Ironically, by Jan. 4, Romney was said to have returned to his senses and was toeing the Trump line by praising the need for a border wall.
All of the criticism of Trump from Congress people, present and past, followed the president’s own attacks on retired Army Gen. Stanley McChrystal.
On New Year’s Eve, McChrystal a former top commander in Afghanistan, said Trump’s decision to withdraw 7,000 troops from that region provided a disincentive for terrorist groups like the Taliban to negotiate peace. The former general went on to state that Trump had traded away leverage in the region and that the president was dishonest.
Petty and spiteful, Trump pointed out that McChrystal, who was fired by Obama “like a dog,” said the former general was known for his “big, dumb, mouth,” and was a Hillary Clinton lover.
The president took another hit just hours before press when the grand jury overseeing Special Counsel Robert Mueller’s probe into Russian election interference during the 2016 presidential election was extended another six month. Set to expire at the end of January 2019, Judge Beryl Howell extended the grand jury’s mandate yesterday, according to published reports.
Melania’s Big, Shiny, New Year
While Donnie toiled in the nation’s capital, the FLOTUS got her groove on at the family’s $1,000-a-head jammy jam at Mar-a-Lago in Florida.
Held without Mr. Wonderful, the party somehow still went on without the president, who chose to remain in The White House during the partial shutdown of the federal government.
Attendees reportedly included Chinese billionaire and dissident Guo Wengui, who is said to have fled his country in 2015 ahead of allegations of corruption. According to Vanity Fair, Wengui’s membership at Mar-a-Lago saved him from being deported back to China during Trump’s first year in office.
But the list of “Big Willie’s” didn’t stop there.
Paolo Zampolli, the United Nations ambassador to Dominica, attended the bash with his model wife, Amanda Ungaro. Zampolli is credited with introducing Donald and Melania when she signed with his model agency in the 1990’s.
Zampolli, his wife and a host of other attendees posed for social media selfies with the very private first lady. Billionaire Anthony Pratt, who last year became Australia’s richest person, and 25-year-old conservative activist Charlie Kirk posed with the former lingerie model for New Year.
The event doubled as a birthday celebration for Don Jr., who celebrated his 41st birthday, helped by his mistress and former Fox News host Kimberly Guilfoyle. His brother, Eric, also attended the party with his wife, Lara.
The night before, Danity Kane singer Aubrey O’Day performed a three-song set for her former alleged beau at the Hustler Club in Las Vegas. TMZ reported O’Day was offended when a birthday cake for Don Jr. was rolled out and she was asked to sing “Happy Birthday.”
The incident led to O’Day allegedly being ejected from the party.
However, the biggest to-do, occurred when First Lady Melania took a selfie and posted the picture to Instagram. The post, which included a glimpse of 12-year-old Barron through a black and white filter, was an unusual move for usually private Melania.
According to reports, the selfie was only the second for which she posed since a Christmas selfie she posted in 2017.
THE SHINBONE STAR 
“Calm down and enjoy the ride…” Spoken like the pu$$y-grabbing rapist he is.
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