Last week The Shinbone Star reported that House Speaker Nancy Pelosi had bitch-slapped ol’ Mr. Trump for being rude and condescending. She pretended to use his paunchy face for a speed bag, with Senate Minority Leader Chuck Schumer holding her spit bucket. Makes for good copy, even if it didn’t settle anything.
On a brighter note, Martin Luther King was born on January 15, 1929, and the world still rejoices. King took a higher oath than anything Trump uttered and stayed true to it until the moment he died. Sadly, his birth was again celebrated this year under Trump’s dark shadow. Usually, federal workers get to enjoy a three-day holiday weekend to help remember Dr. King and say thank you. This year those workers are furloughed — the irony is compelling.
It is highly unlikely that Demento will ever have a national holiday named in his honor. Heroes are not chosen, even by themselves. They rise to the top by doing great things, overcoming huge obstacles in the name of decency, regardless of personal cost.
Trump, meanwhile, continues whining to his base about the unfairness of it all. How embarrassing it must be for a self-anointed manly man like Donald to get a daily ass-whuppin’ from a little old Italian lady with five kids.
It happens. A mother of five in Galveston once beat an exhibitionist to his knees with a 10-pound bag of pinto beans after he exposed himself to her children.
Two years ago Sunday, Trump took his sacred presidential oath to protect and defend the Constitution of the United States from all enemies foreign and domestic. That doesn’t seem to be working out too well, despite his infantile displays. His inviolate wall has gone from solid concrete to see-through steel to a shimmering mirage seen by brown children he keeps caged nearby. Perhaps Trump really is a modern magician, an alchemist manifesting constantly evolving illusions. My colleague Macinelli, reported on Sunday that his base apparently still thinks so.
Maybe Buzzfeed is going to have something on it in another blockbuster revelation. A legion of apologists are claiming the online news outfit’s infamous Trump story from last week was a mistake. The truth about that is still up in the air, but it did get Robert Mueller off a dime for a fleeting second. Otherwise it is just more bullshit.
The story, unsupported with indisputable facts was bad journalism and worse editing. Women are never almost pregnant and news stories are never almost right. The authors admitted on CNN that their information was hearsay and that they had not observed the evidence that was purported to exist. Their publisher let them slide. Contemporary history will not.
Calling any president a felon, without rock-solid proof, is never all right. Mistakes of that magnitude can change history. The Buzzfeed publisher needs to clean it up before the error grows even worse.
There is worse! A man I know once had to shovel elephant poo from outside a high-end hotel while wearing a business suit. It was a big and disgusting, but a vitally necessary chore, plus, he had the shovel.
Other than buying “hamberders” for national champion football players, Trump has so far accomplished nothing but the creation of chasms and chaos. A future footnote for infamy remains his more likely fate than a special day to mark his memory, unless it includes a somber dirge to announce the passing of a venal man who held his countrymen hostage for a purposeless wall.