The inglorious Fourth

— Mike Peters

The Fourth of July, the anniversary of the United States declaring its independence from England, is a festive day in Washington. Hundreds of thousands of visitors flock to the nation’s capital for a spectacular fireworks display and a free concert featuring the National Symphony Orchestra and other high-profile performers.

Since 1947, the festivities have been broadcast on live television, allowing millions across the country to join in and celebrate. It’s a day of family fun, a solemn tribute to our founders, and a big boost for Washington’s tourism industry.

What it hasn’t been, until now, is an informercial for the current occupant of the White House. In fact, the president customarily does not appear during the celebration.

Enter the Great Disrupter. The man who obviously never read our Declaration of Independence and who routinely uses the Constitution as toilet paper has decided, according to the Washington Post, that the day should be all about him.

The Post cites “top administration officials” saying that 45 has decided to relocate the fireworks from the Mall near the Washington Monument to Potomac Park. The move could cause a logistics nightmare for the National Park Service, which orchestrates the display.

In addition, the Toddler in Chief is considering a speech to the nation from the steps of the Lincoln Memorial. If there’s any justice, the marble figure of the Great Emancipator will rise from his chair and stalk off in disgust after hitting Trump upside the head.

One shudders to think about what sort of Hitler Rally the president has in mind. No doubt it will be aimed at his base, containing the usual xenophobic, racist, sexist, divisive and just plain stupid rhetoric we’ve all come to expect. Maybe he’ll lob some derisive nicknames at his political opponents, or maybe he will content himself with bragging about how he didn’t collude with Russia, even though he did.

Apparently, there is no way to stop this corrupt piece of filth from taking over our national celebration. But here’s something we can do: If you were planning to go to Washington, stay home. Don’t watch it on TV. Instead, have a good old-fashioned barbecue or pool party, go to a small-town fireworks display or watch the Macy’s fireworks on television.

Unless the Republicans who rule the Senate finally grow some testicles, we can’t do anything yet about this menace in the White House. But we can ignore it until it goes away.

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7 thoughts on “The inglorious Fourth

  1. They won’t grow a pair because no matter what they say he has given them everything they’ve ever wanted. Low taxes on the wealthy, no regulations to protect the citizens from corporate pollution and a federal judiciary and SCOTUS to lock in their terrible policies for decades.

    Liked by 3 people

  2. I have a fantasy. It’s of Trumfph walking out to make his ‘speech’ and there’s a puddle of water (looks a bit yellow, so I say water but I think Fido just left his mark) dribbling down the steps but Cpt. Crunch is too busy waving and making his ‘I poke fun at handicaps’ face to notice. He slips, and like a giant white avalanche he goes down, landing his bounder of an ass in the yellow puddle. All 47 people in the crowd run to help. “looks like the hip is broken!” “No, I think it’s his leg!” “oh my, heaven’s mercy, our saviour has hit his head!”
    In this fantasty, of course he doesn’t make it. Hit his head. That bigly brain was too much for the poor concrete and they both shattered on impact.
    HAPPY INDEPENDENCE DAY MY AMERICAN FRIENDS!

    Liked by 3 people

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