Trump’s New Patsy Once Played A Pretty Lady

Rudy Giuliani and Donald Trump during happier times.

Rudolph William Louis Giuliani is a patsy. Donald Trump used and abused him like everybody else he encounters and the aging lawyer fell for it. He’s a shell of the man who once took New York City by storm.

The 75-year old media magnet rocketed to fame as a get-tough New York City mayor in the turbulent Nineties, riding in on the backside of the post-Enlightenment Period that pushed American society into a cultural wilderness. The locals proudly admit he “cleaned up” New York.

Oprah Winfrey labeled Giuliani “America’s Mayor” for his positive presence after the terrorist attacks of 9/11. Trump, on the there hand, used the world-shattering cataclysm to lie convincingly about how much he had lost and how much he had done to provide succor to his fellow New Yorkers.

Rudy liked what he heard from the dynamic millionaire playboy. Trump at the time was still considered eccentric, not the bald-faced liar he is today. Rudy capitalized on his chummy relationship with television’s favorite tycoon to promote his image as a wild and crazy guy. Trump was still being portrayed as a good-natured rogue then, a Playboy’s playboy with big bucks and weird hair.

Rudy and Donald were so tight they made a movie together in 2000 for the annual Mayor’s Inner Circle Press Roast. Rudy is in drag, and Trump admires his perfume. They embrace. Trump feels him up, nuzzles his ample breasts. Rudy slaps him. It was insightful.

The spavined Italian Stallion of today graduated magna cum laude from New York University Law School in 1968. From 1983 to 1989 he was U.S. Attorney for the Southern District of New York. In the world of criminal jurisprudence, Rudy was ushered into the “Big Time.” He didn’t leave it for 25 years.

During his tenure at U.S. Attorney, hard-nosed Giuliani took down the big dogs who were milking the markets for sucker money. They went down hard in high profile cases. Ivan Boesky and Michael Milken were two prominent grifters nailed by Giuliani, his big-toothed smile became a law-&-order icon before the word got overdone.

So what happened?

Trump understands idolatry because he loves being an idol. He probably realized that the engaging old pol with the popular persona would sell his soul to be placed back on a pedestal. Henry Kissinger once said that “power is the ultimate aphrodisiac,” so it must have been heady stuff for Rudy when Trump made him his personal attorney.

Giuliani isn’t to be pitied. He is a willing partner, a has-been resurrected from the end-of-life junk pile to advise the president of the United States. More than one great man has sold out for less.

One denunciation on cable news pointed out that Giuliani is “without portfolio,” meaning that he is “assuming the position and duties of a minister of state or a member of a cabinet without authority or consent.”

It is already obvious that Trump ordered Giuliani to bypass the U.S. State Department to apply seedy strong-arm tactics in Ukraine. It’s the same kind of game at which Trump paramour Vladimir Putin might excel.

Apparently Giuliani didn’t realize — or didn’t care — that he’d sold his soul to Donald Trump when he agreed to become the public face of an unlawful shadow government. That he was eventually outed speaks to the fact that the career diplomats he tried to trample are made of sterner stuff than Trump’s coterie of self-absorbed, venal Republicans.

The Big Apple’s slightly mad former mayor is now discovering that Trump is putting some distance between himself and his old buddy. What to do? Giuliani apparently believes one way to get back into Trump’s good graces is to resurrect the old CrowdStrike nonsense that was presumably put to rest last year.

At the end of September, The Shinbone Star reported on a security company called CrowdStrike, the cybersecurity company that first revealed that Russians were hacking America’s election processes. Giuliani had to reach no further than Roger Stone’s old manure pile to find CrowdStrike and another attempt at obfuscation.

Stone, one of Trump’s more colorful flunkies, filed a failed suppression motion in federal court last May 10 to set aside all the government’s evidence because it was based on flawed information revealed by CrowdStrike. Stone’s suppression motion claimed the feds violated its own forensic by accepting the findings of the civilian contractor.

Last September, a federal district judge in Washington ruled against Stone’s motion. CrowdStrike had claimed that the Russians hacked the DNC servers in June of 2016. Stone’s implication was the hack was orchestrated by the Clinton Campaign to divert attention from other clandestine attacks against other candidates.

It is all part of the sinister silliness Trump spouted last July in his now infamous telephone call to the new Ukraine president.

The Feds say Stone was one of Trump’s election team in touch Russian hackers. His contact was Guccifer 2.0, a straw man the Russians created to leak stolen files without leaving behind fingerprints.

Early last week CrowdStrike, Giuliani, and Stone simultaneously crashed into the daily news cycle inside the ever-expanding probe into Trumplandian intrigue. It seems Rudy has replaced Stone as the Mr. Mayhem of political fumbling, but the popular character in all those Allstate Insurance commercials is a slacker compared to these two bozos.

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