I want to state at the outset that I’m not a former Harvard Law professor, nor am I an expert on constitutional law.
Maybe that’s why I’m unable to formulate a response to Alan Dershowitz, who stood before the U.S. Senate yesterday and claimed that if President Donald J. Trump believes his re-election is in the nation’s best interest, he can do anything he wants to make that happen, and whatever tactic he chooses would not be an impeachable offense.
In case you missed it, let me paraphrase the argument, though I sure can’t type it with the same eloquence that Dershowitz said it: Asking Ukraine to dig dirt on political opponent Joe Biden was justifiable because Trump felt it would help him win re-election, and since Trump believes that Trump is the best thing for the country, it’s a-okay.
Hot damn, the lights really came on for me when Dershowitz said that.
When I think of all the hours I’ve wasted fighting Trump since 2016, it makes me weep. Clearly I was grasping the wrong end of the stick. What Dershowitz so neatly explained is that the democracy I thought I was defending, in fact never existed.
Dershowitz is like English Bob on “Unforgiven,” explaining Trump’s majesty to ignorant galoots like me, riding the rails on the Democracy Limited.
Now before you go getting all upset, think of the advantages of just letting go, bowing to superior intellect.
Hell guys, instead of watching this impeachment crap, we could be watching Dukes of Hazzard reruns and masturbating wildly whenever Daisy Duke prances across the screen. That would be a lot more worthwhile than fighting Trump, who, after all, only has our best interests at heart.
- No more democracy.
- No need for more elections.
- No more Nancy Pelosi clogging my e-mail account with more requests for money.
- No more editing and writing for The Shinbone Star. It’s time to pull the plug.
- And on a personal level, no more wasted money buying furniture for my new home. Soon, very soon, all my decoration needs will be much simpler inside a cage at Guantanamo.
Thanks, Al, for pointing out the error of my ways. I confess my sin of challenging Trump and the Royal Family. Let Donald rule until he himself is ready to step down, secure in the knowledge that Ivanka will take over as the country’s first woman ruler.
And waiting in the wings is Barron, I guess nobody will be joking about him now!
So let’s quit this impeachment nonsense and get onboard with the Infallibility of Trump. As long as he believes he’s the best answer for America, that’s good enough for me.