New York Stock Exchange Disaster 2020

Back in 1967, before they went disco, the Australian group the Bee Gees released their first American single, “New York Mining Disaster 1941.” Inspired by a devastating landslide at a mine in South Wales a year earlier, the song told the story from the viewpoint of trapped miners hoping to be rescued.

It occurred to me that the song, with a few changes, could be updated to fit our current situation. So with love and apologies to the Brothers Gibb, I give you “New York Stock Exchange Disaster 2020.”

Covid-19’s killing the economy.
And I heard somebody saying on TV
That there’s no point in saving sick old folks like me.

Would you give your life for Dow Jones?
My stock portfolio just took a nosedive.
So we’re asking Grandma to consider suicide
For Dow Jones.

Well, my 401K isn’t doing great.
And I’ve been stuck inside this house for two weeks straight.
Drank all my booze and now I’m chugging Listerine.
Would you give your life for Dow Jones?
My stock portfolio just took a nosedive.
So we’re asking Grandma to consider suicide
For Dow Jones.

In the event of something happening to me,
I hope that Donald Trump will thank me on TV
For doing all I could to make this country great.

Would you give your life for Dow Jones?
My stock portfolio just took a nosedive.
So we’re asking Grandma to consider suicide
For Dow Jones.

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