Suck it up, America, the GOP wants you to die for Trump

Calling all true Americans! Let’s hit the beaches! Let’s go to the mall!

Chris Christie, that tub of grease who gained fame as the nasty-ass governor of New Jersey, says Americans need to embrace death by COVID-19 and die on their feet, just the way our forefathers did when they stormed the beaches at Normandy.

Here’s the money quote:

“The American people have gone through significant death before. We’ve gone through it in World War I, we’ve gone through it in World War II. We have gone through it and we’ve survived it. We sacrificed those lives. We decided to make that sacrifice because what we were standing up for was the American way of life, in the very same way now, we have to stand up for the American way of life.”

Such beautiful words. I swear I’d be tearing up if not for the fact that IT’S ALL BULLSHIT!

Chris Christie. Who wouldn’t want to die for this man?

No no no no no, you fucking piece of Republican shit! It is NOT the same! Dying to defend our country from foreign aggression is NOT the same as dying to boost Donald Trump’s economy so he can improve his chances of being re-elected.

“Standing up for the American way of life????” You have got to be fucking kidding me!

Here’s what the “American way of life” now looks like, thanks to our bleach-blond douche of a president, along with his bubbling yeast infection of an administration and all the pox-blind fools who still follow him.

Since the advent of Trumpism, we have:

  • Withdrawn from the Paris Climate Agreement and denied the hard science of global warming.
  • Thrown children into cages and separated families that showed the temerity of wanting not to die at the hands of vicious drug gangs in Latin America.
  • Elected a president who calls neo-Nazis, Ku Klux Klansmen and inbred freaks with assault rifles “good people.”
  • A president who encourages sedition by telling citizens to defy their state governors’ stay-at-home orders.
  • A president who abandoned our Kurdish allies to be slaughtered on the battlefield in Syria.
  • An administration that loosened restrictions on the dumping of toxic substances into our drinking water.
  • A Republican Party that continues its longstanding tradition of voter suppression against minorities.
  • We’ve become a nation that has lost prestige on the world stage, led to ruin by a president who has made us a laughingstock around the world and, who knows, possibly even in galaxies not yet discovered.
  • A president who has gutted good relations with our traditional allies.
  • A man who has committed treason at the behest of Russian President Vladimir Putin.
  • A president who was justly impeached for soliciting foreign assistance to smear a political rival.
  • Who ignores the rule of law.
  • Who has marginalized our own intelligence community in favor of Putin’s lies.
  • Who personally profits from his office in direct violation of constitutional guidelines.
  • Who never ceases attacking the free press, that great pillar of democracy.
  • Who attacks the truth every single day, with more than 18,000 lies passing his fetid lips thus far, and to such an extent that the term “alternate facts” has become entrenched in the common vernacular.
  • A president with more than 70,000 Americans on his butcher’s bill.

I could go on, but you get the idea. Unlike the impeached turd-smear in the Oval Office, his scoreboard doesn’t lie. It’s a record of shame. It’s the new “American way of life,” the one that Trump, Christie and others would have us defend to our death.

Notice I said “our death,” not “their death.”

That’s right, you sure ain’t gonna see Trump, nor Christie, nor any fat-cat Republican, working shoulder-to-shoulder in some Midwest meatpacking plant that’s raging with coronavirus.

“Here you go, Moscow Mitch, trim a little more fat off this sirloin and give me a nice, juicy steak!”

Nope, that ain’t gonna happen.

And you sure as shit won’t see Chris, Mitch, Jared, Donny or Mikey in some overcrowded hospital, working without protective equipment, trying to intubate some poor, spluttering bastard who snorted a noxious load of COVID-19.

Nope, you won’t see a single Republican shit-stain doing any of that stuff, but they sure as hell want YOU to do it! Dying for the common good, by god, that’s YOUR job!

Let me spell it out for you: They don’t care if you suck down a barrel-full of coronavirus as long as you’re boosting Republican investment portfolios before you croak. So get your lazy butt out there and storm those shopping malls, just like Chris Christie said our fathers and grandfathers did when they hit the beaches on D-Day, June 6, 1944.

Boy oh boy, they shopped ’til they dropped that day, they surely did!

Republicans, you see, want you to die on your feet. It’s a good sound bite, and to hear them tell it, an acceptable sacrifice for you to make for their economic good. If you can’t lick ’em, join ’em is their philosophy, and since we’ve already got more than 70,000 dead, hey, what’s a few thousand more?

Don’t you dare be one of those nancy-boys. Don’t you be one of those whining little socialist bitches! Don’t shelter in place, waiting for another stimulus check to save you. Donnie already sent you a check, and if you’re a real Patriot you didn’t cash it. Maybe you framed that sucker and hung it on the wall, the president’s glorious signature an everlasting comfort to your future widow.

So rise up! Open up! Donnie’s Economy (see how that rhymes) is at stake!

Hell yeah and Oorah! Let’s die, die, die in the thousands, because that’s what good Americans do when the chips are down. We’ll take a viral bullet to the lungs and smile as we fall, because that’s what capitalism demands! All worker bees must do their part! Let’s go down in a blaze of MasterCard glory. Somewhere, a Republican investment banker is counting on you!

And while you lie dying, while you’re taking the last gurgling breath of a true Patriot, don’t spare a thought for how the president sat on his fat ass for two months, ignoring the truth about a raging epidemic in China, a truth that scientists tried to tell him would be heading our way.

Nope, that’s Fake News, and you know it’s fake because Donnie said so.

Let’s rally ’round the flag one last time, boys, and when you find yourself lying on some hospital gurney, clutch your AR-15 tight to your chest and thank the Good Lord that the guvmint didn’t take it.

Then, with the sure knowledge that your new haircut saved the republic, die, die, die like a man, a well-groomed American man!

Because Donald Trump and Chris Christie said so.

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