It’s hump day. What else might we expect this week from Trump?

— AP Photo/Patrick Semansky

Donald Trump spent Monday morning spinning ridiculous tales on TV about his remarkable ability to save the nation from itself. He would be better served focusing on how he is going to extricate himself from the hell he has created.

Trump’s enablers are probably remembering when plausible deniability still had some relevance in the political world, before Trump shredded the concept so badly that outright lying became the vehicle most used by the administration for spreading Trump’s brand of cow manure.

Over the weekend, Trump kept reporters spellbound, bragging how he can identify elephants and bunnies in a simple cognition test usually used to determine if learning disabled children and addled old people are capable of eating with spoons and using the toilet. According to Trump, he did so well the doctors administering the examination said they had never seen anybody do so well.

Unconfirmed reports say he only missed two pictures, a skulking skunk and a slinking weasel. Otherwise, everything was just dandy except for all those pesky COVID-19 patients that keep dying. More will die before things get better, Trump lamented between comments about how badly he has been served by those he loves. His performance was a clown show for the damned.

The long weekend actually began Friday evening when Trump commuted the sentence of longtime court jester adviser Roger Stone, the bisexual, wife-swapping, professional dirty tricks man convicted in a jury trial of lying multiple times to federal investigators while protecting Trump in the Russia probe. Trump’s clown in waiting revealed he had resisted “enormous pressure to turn on” Trump. For what was never revealed, although that unwelcome answer may be coming sooner than later.

On Saturday, sniveling Trumpites began trying to discredit and diminish the importance and popularity of Dr. Anthony Fauci, the country’s chief infectious-disease expert. He got in hot water for saying 132,000 dead Americans might just suggest the country is heading in the wrong direction combating the coronavirus pandemic. The news apparently hit Trump so hard he spent Sunday making his 276th trip to the links, according to the New York Times. While he was dropping balls wherever they best served him, Florida reported 15,300 new cases of the virus in a single day.

Adolf Hitler preferred letting Reich Minister of Propaganda Joseph Goebbels lie for him. Hitler always looked better when it was somebody else’s fault. Goebbels knew how to stick in the knife in without Hitler gathering any blame. Trump is best at sticking himself. One trait Trump and Hitler do share in common, however, is the sickening capacity to exploit children for political purposes.

On Sunday, Trump turned to brain dead Secretary of Education Betsy DeVos to explain to the TV talk show circuit why it is A-Okay to send children back to school without any understanding of what may confront them. The filthy rich elitist who never spent a day in public school said America’s children needed school more than they needed a safe harbor. And if they didn’t put on their nice new school clothes and head back to their brickyards she was going to take their school’s federal money away.

Do six-year olds know how to say “bitch”?

Beyond endangering children’s lives, denigrating one of the scientists who may save us from Trump, and commuting the sentence of a one-man creep show convicted by a federal jury, Trump groused about the quality of a piece of border fence his supporters paid many millions for and is falling over. He also applied more sanctions against the Chinese, bad-mouthed the Supreme Court, trashed his niece, Mary Trump, shat on Black Lives Matter, and of course had unkind words for “Slow Joe” Biden, who spent the weekend eating Trump’s lunch.

Now, looking to despoil the second half of this week, Trump can choose from several important, unanswered Trumpian lies and distortions currently floating about. That does not include the hundreds of lies slowly rising unanswered into the nether where empty words go to rest.

The matter of Putin’s executioners hiring the locals in Afghanistan to murder Americans has never been adequately addressed. The ordinary public is three weeks into that saga and not even Congress wants to delve further into it. As they say in Denmark, something stinks in Copenhagen.

Trump’s commutation of Stone’s 40-month sentence for lying to Congress before he ever saw the inside of a jail still lingers in the rancid air fouling the White House. Former Special Prosecutor Robert Mueller will soon be sworn to testify before the Senate Judiciary Committee — chaired by former Trump surrogate Lindsey Graham — to explain why Roger was guilty and why Trump should not have commuted his sentence. What that will come of that is open to lots of speculation.

We do know Trump wants to hear from Mueller about as much as he wants to wear a face mask in a COVID ward, although he did wear that black number at Walter Reed National Military Medical Center in Washington. D.C. during a visit to bolster spirits among wounded service members and COVID-19 patients and caregivers

Before Trump left the White House he told reporters: “When you’re in a hospital, especially . . . I think it’s a great thing to wear a mask.”

If he earned any brownie points by doing so they came from his staff for finally acceding to a simple request to wear a mask long enough for a photo op. Give ’em what they ask for, the former TV host and dilettante was no doubt thinking.
Ironically, Trump had inculcated his supporters with hatred for protective masks so thoroughly some of them promptly labeled him a traitor for giving in to liberals, anarchists, and BLM agitators over wearing a mask, the “libtard’s” favorite symbol of repression.

Where was Goebbels when Trump needed him?

Two weeks ago the rumor mills were running wild with tales that #LG, short for Lady Graham, was either going to play ball with Trump at the Senate Judiciary Committee hearing or get outed for being the most notable gay man still hiding his sexuality in the Senate cloakroom. It was too little too late, even for Trump.

— Andew Prendimano/The Shinbone Star

The speculation started on social media after gay adult performer and personal escort Sean Harding very subtly threatened to out a “homophobic Republican Senator who is no better than Trump who keeps passing legislation that is damaging to the LGBT and minority communities.”

He was referring to Lady Graham, the alleged nickname sex workers in D.C. and South Carolina use to identify the powerful senator in polite company. What Trump expects #LG to do when the time comes will be evident soon enough.
The very next day, the internet exploded over Lindsey Graham’s dark secret. Black Lives Matter’s Tom D’Agora tweeted an affirmation almost immediately. He is a theatrical producer and director who apparently keeps a love-fest going with former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton. It got him some extra ink.

Two years ago, Clinton tweeted an attaboy to D’Agora and another producer for fund-raising on behalf of disabled people looking for recognition in theater. Why her tweet appeared alongside D’Agora’s tweet was never explained. At least Hillary isn’t talking.

“An Army of gay escorts are claiming, Lindsay has used their services for years and are trying to figure out how to get around the NDA he has them all sign,” D’Agora cattily tweeted.

Goebbels would be thrilled. The Nazi propaganda minister once said, “It would not be impossible to prove with sufficient repetition and a psychological understanding of the people concerned that a square is in fact a circle. They are mere words, and words can be molded until they clothe ideas and disguise.”

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