Every newspaper I worked for had at least one guy who led a charmed life, who somehow managed to keep his job even though everything he touched turned to shit.
Did he have dirty pictures of the publisher? Did he have a rich daddy who was a stockholder in the company? Was he dating the editor-in-chief’s daughter? No one knew. But the one thing we did know was to never let down our guard when editing that guy’s copy.
Now at any newspaper it is sometimes necessary to cut corners, usually as deadline approaches. The thought was to get the late story into the paper and we’d correct any minor errors in the second edition. But that was not how we handled things when it was a story from our golden boy, because his errors could in no way ever be called minor. When you drew the black bean and pulled up one of this guy’s gems, you knew your job was in peril even if his never was.
Which leads me to Donald Trump. How is it that everyone in the White House isn’t pulling out all the stops to keep our Blunderer in Chief constantly under wraps?
While reading a speech that was clearly written by someone else, nobody thought to go over the pronunciations with the biggest idiot in the room? What kind of West Wing dolts wouldn’t have insisted that a guy like Trump should maybe give that thing a test read before going live?
While signing legislation that created five new national monuments and expanded several national parks — the sort of announcement that even most liberals would celebrate — Trump still managed to step in a bucket of shit.
Normally I’d give his handlers a pass because, really, it’s hard to imagine that the president of the United States wouldn’t know how to say Yosemite, as in Yosemite National Park, that jewel of the park system that is visited by 4 million Americans a year.
But as much as I might want to give them a pass, I simply can’t, because like that one reporter at every newspaper, there’s ample evidence to believe that Trump will fuck up even the simple stuff.
- Wear a mask during a pandemic? Simple, right? Nope.
- Protester killed by a white supremacist? Condemn the KKK, Nazis and the Confederalis, right? Nope, they’re “good people.”
- Civil rights icon John Lewis dies? Honor his legacy, right? Nope, Trump can only say Lewis “didn’t come to my inauguration.”
This is the president of the United States, folks, the leader of the free world, and he’s dumber than a rock. Every American should be ashamed, but his handlers should be doubly ashamed. They know better than anyone exactly what they’re dealing with and still let him display his awesome stupidity for the world.