Vice President Mike Pence and Democratic challenger Sen. Kamala Harris held their much-anticipated debate Wednesday night, and while Harris managed to stick to the truth and to the debate rules, Pence was so noxious that he even attracted a fly.
Since shortly after Harris was named to be Joe Biden’s running mate in the Nov. 3 presidential election, social media has been on fire with the possibilities that she would filet Pence like a flounder on the debate stage. Such is the power of Harris, who has taken the balls of Supreme Court and attorney general candidates on national television, much to the delight of opponents of fascism.
Harris, however, mostly left her long knives at home, perhaps cognizant of the fact that gutting the vice president on national television might simply confirm suspicions among the Handmaid’s Tale Crowd that she’s just another one of them godforsaken left-wing women who shamelessly think for themselves. Every vote counts, I suppose, and there might be one or two out there who are still undecided on whether to save fetuses or Latino children thrown into cages by Donald Trump and his favorite towel boy, Pence.
But I digress.
Coronavirus was a hot topic at the debate, and why shouldn’t it be, with a plexiglass divider set up on stage to protect Harris from Pence’s hot breath. True, Pence has not been diagnosed with coronavirus, but just about everyone else in the White House has, and Harris wasn’t taking any chances. And if you looked closely, Mikey’s eyes did look a little red. Apparently there is such a thing as COVID pinkeye, just sayin’.
And speaking of COVID and how Trump could have — but didn’t — set an example for the nation by simply wearing a mask and taking seriously a virus that has killed more than 205,000 Americans, he set another type of example during the first debate, one that Pence evidently picked up on.
While Harris mostly managed to follow the rules, Pence took his boy Trump’s example and ran with it, constantly talking past his time limit and interrupting Harris when she tried to make a point.
It’s evidently a Republican tactic. The type of people voting for them think it’s manly for their candidate to dominate a conversation, even if all their talk is bullshit and lies. See, they’re not listening to the words, they’re just smiling and nodding and giving points every time their guy utters a sound bite like “defund the police” or “AOC” or “Green New Deal.”
Plus, Republican Neanderthals understand that when you’re debating a woman — with a woman moderator as part of the bargain — you need to take the missionary position and mansplain right over the top of them both. Why, even Mother would approve of that tactic!
Pence does not radiate the same aura of craziness as that of his boss. Instead, Pence tries to come across as a kinder, friendlier alpha-male, one you should want to obey because he has your best interests at heart and really, he wouldn’t hurt a fly.
Of course that, too, is a lie.
Now I figure any voter who is still undecided at this point is as useless as tits on a boar hog. If you’re undecided, you haven’t been paying a lick of attention for the past three and a half years, so truth is you could just fuck off right now for all I care. But seriously, for those of you who — for reasons I can’t fully understand — still don’t know what to do on Nov. 3, just remember where the fly landed.