The Young and the Beautiful: After This, Our Exile

The setting: Somewhere in the continental United States (or maybe not, who knows?) Jerry and Ivy may or may not be in disguise as they start packing and try to face the reality that Ivy’s father the King may really have been overthrown in favor of Sir Joe, Squire of Scranton.


Jerry: Why the sad face, my sulking shiksa? I thought you were getting tired of staying in this undisclosed location and were looking forward to new horizons.

logoIvy: Alas, I fear that our horizons are limited. It seems that my royal father, willing or not, will soon have to vacate the White Palace and leave the Swamp, and with him go our jobs.

Jerry: We have jobs?

Ivy: Now, you know Daddy gave both of us salaries from the  people’s treasury, so I have to assume there were jobs. It is a good thing we were already rich or we would be in deep doo-doo. I cannot believe we have to make way for Sleepy Sir Joe and his sidekick, Kamala the Destroyer.

Jerry: So instead of draining the Swamp, it appears the Swamp has drained us. Where to next? Would you like to return to the Magical Isle of Manhattan, where we spent the halcyon days of our youth? Or perhaps the Shores of Jersey?

Ivy: I fear we are no longer welcome on our Magical Isle. Oh, why did we ever leave the fleshpots of Manhattan? Even our children are being ostracized.

Jerry: What? We have children?

Ivy: You remember, little What’s-her-face and  Whosis. I got a letter from the Royal Academy today informing me that they are being asked to leave for not wearing Plague Masks.

Jerry: But if they wear masks, they will look just like the commoners! Anyway, there is no plague!

Ivy: Worse yet, the news has reached the Town Crier, Perez of Marriott, who is publishing it abroad to the great satisfaction of our enemies. What are we to do?

Jerry: Maybe we could just wear the Plague Masks? I know your royal father does not approve, but they might be a good disguise until the people’s revolt dies down. You know, one of your factories in China could whip up a nice black silk number for you to wear in private.

Ivy: Hmm, maybe just once. After we find a boarding school for the children in our new undisclosed location! And then I can restart my beloved schmatta business as a purveyor of high-fashion Plague Masks!

Jerry: That’s the girl I married! Remember, there are no problems so big that we can’t figure out a way to cash in.

And so, we leave our Young and Beautiful couple for now, a little older and less beautiful than they were when they came to the Swamp as wide-eyed innocents, looking to make a difference and a fast buck. Will we see them again? For now, they need time to plan. But they’ll be back!

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