December. What an auspicious way to begin the end-of-the-year month.
Rudy Giuliani, personal lawyer for Oval Office Occupant Donnie Trump, tested positive for the coronavirus, but not before something on his head — or perhaps from inside — leaked hideously down his face. But that wasn’t all that leaked, because he farted loudly in public and on camera while promoting Trump’s false claims about election fraud.
One could say Rudy is leaking from both ends, but, that might be too crass, so let’s say simply that he has made himself into a clown.
In addition to testing positive for COVID-19, some say he’s also tested positive for stupidity.
And speaking of stupidity, how about his touting of Mellissa Carone as a legitimate witness for the specious claims about the election — the very election everyone knows Trump lost though half the country refuses to admit it.
Carone, 33, a former contractor for Dominion Voting Systems, claimed in bizarre, oftentimes combative testimony that instantly went viral, that she witnessed massive election misconduct at a Detroit counting center. She skiied so wildly off the slope that Rudy had to reach over to touch her to calm her down. She ignored him and ranted on.
Among her claims were that the poll book — the register of those who had voted — was “off by 30,000.” When told by Republican state representatives that the poll book tally was not incorrect, she retorted: “Did you take it and do something crazy to it?” She claimed there was “not a single registered voter” on those books.
Carone’s accusations aired on Fox News on Nov. 11 as she was being interviewed by Lou Dobbs. She insinuated that vans providing food to poll workers were in fact packed with illegitimate votes. Of course she had no witnesses. Dobbs struggled to make her appear credible, before finally pulling the plug.
Legal moron Rudy, obviously failed to vet his witness and it led to a disastrous and comic scenario.
It didn’t take long before it was revealed that Carone had recently completed her probation for using computers to commit a crime. She had been charged with obscenity after sending the ex-wife of her then-boyfriend’s some graphic videos of the two of them having sex.
The ex-wife, Jessica, called police multiple times about Carone between November 2018 and September 2019 after receiving three videos from an unknown e-mail address. Police managed to trace the IP address from the e-mails to Carone, who initially denied sending them but revealed she was aware of their content.
She eventually confessed to investigators, saying her goal was to send Jessica “over the top.”
Carone was sentenced in September 2019 to one year’s probation.
The mother of two, from the Detroit suburb of Grosse Point Woods, told police she was working toward her degree in cyber security when she was charged. Guess she missed the lesson about tracing IP addresses.
On November 13, a Michigan judge hearing Carone’s claims about ballot-packed catering trucks and other ridiculous allegations said they “simply are not credible.”
Too bad Rudy — infected with coronavirus and stupidity — is ignorant of those four powerful words.