You get the grift

During the 2016 campaign, I signed up for tickets to a Trump rally in New Jersey. I had no intention of going, but I was curious about the organizers’ claims that the demand for the free tickets had far outstripped the capacity of the venue. I filled out the online request form, had no difficulty in securing a ticket, and got a good laugh at the expense of people who were complaining on Facebook about paying scalpers hundreds of dollars for seats that cost nothing in the first place.

I didn’t go for the same reason I don’t jab knitting needles into my eyes. But I still get the occasional fund-raising pitch from the GOP, despite being a registered Democrat and outspoken opponent of 45.

So it wasn’t a surprise when I got a text from a local phone number with the heading “Team Trump: We’re updating our voter data and need YOU to fill out the official Trump Voter Verification Canvass.” There was a link to a survey and an official-looking seal with a gold eagle on it and the words, “Save America.  Certified by Donald J. Trump.”

I clicked on the link.  First two questions were routine: “Would you vote for Trump a 3rd time?” and “Do you plan on voting in the 2022 Midterm Elections?” with boxes to check for yes or no.

The third question had three options, asking if I consider myself Conservative, Liberal or Moderate. The fourth question, which probably should have come first was, “Are you a registered voter?”

This was followed by questions on my party preference, how often I vote, my age group and how I plan to cast my next vote: in-person, by mail or not at all.

Other questions, increasingly more sinister:

  • “Do you think Critical Race Theory should be taught in schools?”
  • “Do you think Joe Biden is responsible for the rise in inflation and the hike in gas prices?”
  • “Do you believe Big Tech is censoring Republicans?”

Throughout the survey, the current Oval Office occupant is identified as Joe Biden, while his predecessor is President Trump or simply Trump.

 “Do you miss President Trump?” How can I miss him if he won’t go away?

“Will you fight to make sure Trump’s legacy is upheld in 2022?” is immediately followed by, “Do you support the Second Amendment and your constitutional right to bear arms.” Are they planning Insurrection 2.0, or is the juxtaposition accidental?

I was having a fine time answering the survey in my subversive liberal way,  until I got to the final question: “Can we count on you to give $10 to ensure Trump victories down ballot?” The options here were “yes” and “I’ll give more than $10.” I couldn’t submit my answers without checking a box.

Where would the money go? The fine print says “Save America JFC is a joint fund-raising committee on behalf of Save America and Make America Great Again PAC (MAGAPac).“ Save America would get nine of my ten bucks, and MAGAPac would get a paltry dollar.

But they’re not getting a red cent from me. They’ll just have to save America without me.

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