Can Trump Dance Through Minefields?

Last Friday, the Republican-led Senate repudiated the U.S. Constitution. At the Pentagon, the U.S. renounced an international treaty banning landmines already adopted by 162 countries. At the White House, Donald Trump issued a presidential proclamation banning Nigerians and citizens of five other countries from immigrating to America. His new ban makes citizens from 14 countries […]

Pissin’ Up A Rope

In Texas, folks say that doing something pointless is “pissin’ up a rope.” The obvious result of such a maneuver need not be spelled out here, especially when anyone can look to look to Washington, D.C., where wet spots are cropping up faster than the coronavirus. The issue — and it is always the issue […]

The Best Joke of 2020

In the Southern District of New York yesterday, a frightened man from Ukraine went to the U.S. Attorney and said, “My talking parrot disappeared.” “Why did you come here?” the Southern District AG demanded to know. “Go to the regular police.” “I will. I’m just here to tell you that I disagree with whatever that […]

Trump Takes Page From Taliban

Returning to Washington, D.C, from his two-week holiday trip to Florida, Master of Mayhem Donald Trump said that the United States government has “identified 52 sites” in Iran to destroy in the event of a violent Iranian response to America’s assassination of international pariah and Shi’a Muslim hero Maj. Gen. Qassim Suleimani. Some of the […]

Don Quixote Attacks Windmills

Monday in Florida, Donald Trump attacked energy producing windmills as noxious, pollution generators threatening all life, but particularly America’s sacred bald eagles. I consulted my dear friend Miguel de Cervantes Saavedra about his encounters with windmills. He wrote the story of famous fool Don Quixote’s life in “The Ingenious Hidalgo Don Quixote of La Mancha,” […]

Impeachment queen Fiona Hill leaves House Republicans in smoking ruin

Last week was a vicious one on Capitol Hill. Lies were revealed, reputations torn asunder, and presumptions shattered while nattering nabobs of Republican negativism danced on TV like Michael Jackson on a Thriller video. Led by Republican Reps. Devin Nunes, (R-Ca.) and Jim “Buckeye” Jordan (R-Ohio), the tasseled-loafers crowd stepped all over each other’s high […]

Ask Trump Who Guards The Guards

“Today, President Donald J. Trump signed an Executive Grant of Clemency (Full Pardon) for Army First Lieutenant Clint Lorance, Army Major Mathew Golsteyn, and an order directing the promotion of Special Warfare Operator First Class Edward R. Gallagher to the grade of E-7 . . . ”  — White House statement released last Friday Donald […]

When Trump Found Jesus

Editor’s Note: In light of yesterday’s New York Times story that announced President Donald Trump’s naming of Florida televangelist Paula White as his newest presidential aide in charge of his “Faith and Opportunity Initiative,” this morning we offer a retread of sorts. This story, penned by our very own Nathaniel R. “Nat” Helms, originally ran on […]

Trump’s Bump Went Thump

ISIS/ISIL leader Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi’s last hand job was certainly climactic. In a millisecond the butcher of most of Iraq and Syria reduced the legacy of his hideous reign to a morbid collection of heat-brazed meat chunks and soiled underwear. Al-Baghdadi was simply a disgusting human being. Among his many, many crimes was the kidnapping […]