What to the slave is the Fourth of July?

EDITOR’S NOTE: Today, the Fourth of July, The Shinbone Star heeds the plea of staff member Macinelli by declining to cover the charlatan and criminal currently taking up space in the White House. Instead, we are reprinting the famous speech of a true statesman, Frederick Douglass, who, despite ignorant public assertions to the contrary, sadly left […]

Be it resolved . . .

Just like reporters for any other major metropolitan newspaper, we here at The Shinbone Star have sources in all branches of the government, including some under-the-radar types in the West Wing. We’ll never divulge their identities — some may work as clerks, typists, janitors or in food service — but be assured that their everyday activities […]

A roadblock on the Flight to Egypt

Sometime in the early years of the Common Era, when Egypt was under Roman rule, a desperate young family petitioned for asylum. Their fate hinged on the whim of Prefect Donaldus, who had been appointed by the emperor to govern Egypt. Recently, a scroll has come to light that contains a transcript of the prefect’s […]

The 12 Days of Mueller

On the first day of Christmas, Robert Mueller gave to me: The head of the Trump fam’ly tree. On the second day of Christmas, Robert Mueller gave to me: Two porn stars And the head of the Trump fam’ly tree. On the third day of Christmas, Robert Mueller gave to me: Three young Trumps Two porn […]

Reprieved Turkey Demands Execution of Sentence

White House, Washington, D.C. — A reprieved turkey named Wishbone reportedly tweeted the Turkey-In-Chief that she wanted to die just hours before disappearing. The aggrieved turkey was demanding a kinder fate than letting Mr. Trump put his tiny hands all over its breasts and thighs. Within hours of the pleading tweet, the unserved entrée disappeared, leaving behind a […]

The Trump guide to celebrating holidays. Bigly.

With the confluence of two major religious holidays this month, it’s been a difficult few weeks for 45 and The Gang that Couldn’t Speak Straight. First, Press Secretary and one-time Easter Bunny Sean Spicer suggested, during Passover, that Hitler had not used chemical weapons on his own people, seemingly forgetting the millions of Jews who […]