Cold War Redux

Donald Trump and his dear friend Vladimir Putin are once again running neck-and-neck to inflame as many extremists and like-minded loonies they can round up to fuel their increasingly desperate battles for personal survival.

MAGA Man intentionally exacerbated the dreadful situation in eastern Europe after the Russian invasion of Ukraine by describing Putin’s unprovoked invasion as “genius” and “savvy,” and praising Putin despite near universal condemnation.

“I went in yesterday and there was a television screen, and I said, ‘This is genius.’ Putin declares a big portion of the Ukraine — of Ukraine — Putin declares it as independent. Oh, that’s wonderful,” Trump said in a radio interview on “The Clay Travis and Buck Sexton Show.” “He [Putin] used the word ‘independent’ and ‘we’re gonna go out and we’re gonna go in and we’re gonna help keep peace.’ You gotta say that’s pretty savvy.”

The threats are real enough. Some bozo in one of the Russian-occupied regions of Ukraine reportedly begged Putin to use a few tactical nukes quickly because his outfought forces are getting strummed like badly tuned banjos. His pleas were followed by a barrage of news out of Moscow quoting Putin as saying he might just have to drop a few nukes on Ukraine after all. He said the United States had set the precedent when it bombed the Japanese in World War II.

Putin might not have a choice, his apologists explained. It is no longer unthinkable in the Kremlin to consider unleashing a few “low-yield nuclear weapons” on Ukraine. The expression “low yield” is intentionally benign, like pretending diet cola is better for you than the real thing.  

Trump, meanwhile, is similarly talking about laying waste to the RINOs, socialists, Democrats, Libertarians, immigrants, and “Roevember women” who defy him. According to Trump, his minions are already lurking in the shadows waiting for the right moment to pounce. Why the Department of Justice or Congress hasn’t already shut his disgusting mouth is nothing short of pathetic weakness.

From his bunker deep under Truth Social headquarters, Trump has already unleashed his nuclear mouth. He is threatening to bring holy hell on the powerful detractors who hate him merely for being so wonderful. Thankfully, MAGA Man lost his best chance to nuke somebody when his bulbous behind was run out of the White House.  All he has left now is hot air. Apparently, neither man — Putin or Trump — realizes they have already neutered themselves.

Two days ago, Trump flogged Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell and his wife with a Truth Social Special so full of vulgarities and inanities that it provided a window to see inside the Grifter’s dangerously swelled head. Trump has apparently convinced himself that the McConnells and other Republicans who tried to be as wretched as him are behind the expenditure of “trillions” of hard-earned taxpayer dollars because they hate him.

Meanwhile, shading Putin’s dramatic televised annexation of a fifth of Ukraine is the constant barrage of images and reports detailing how his battered army is running away from the lands he just stole.

Undermining Putin’s newest land grab scheme is his already failing program to draft 300,000 Russian citizens to bulk up his shattered army. By Western intelligence estimates, at least that number of eligible males have already fled the country. There are Russian mothers railing against the war on television, rioting in the streets, protests in downtown Moscow and live debates on Russian social media condemning Putin’s unprovoked war. Spicing up the situation are Russian reports that disgruntled military candidates are burning down draft boards.

I can report first-hand how terrible a nuclear war would be. During the Cold War, I was a soldier detailed to guard NATO’s nuclear weapons stored in Bruchmühlbach-Miesau, West Germany. The assignment came with a training regimen called NBC school, short for Nuclear, Biological & Chemical Warfare training. For two weeks, all of us detailed to WMD defense watched endless black-and-white films about America’s arsenal of nukes, poison gases, and biological agents.

One thing constantly pounded into our heads was the misplaced notion that there were so-called “low yield nuclear weapons.”

Some battlefield nuclear weapons are designed to obliterate divisions of enemy troops with a minimum amount of residual radiation. Others are created to eradicate cities. Still others will wipe out a country’s electronic communications with electromagnetic pulses that also microwave to death everyone below the blast. We were frequently assured there would be a long nuclear winter if they were ever used.

Our class trained with a “small” tactical nuke called Davey Crockett. It looked like a bowling ball with fins attached to the end of a long pole. Four men could carry, set it up and deliver the device in minutes.

A “Davey Crocket” nuclear device circa 1955-1975.

We pretended to unleash our weapon on a huge formation of invading Russian tanks. The blast area was about a five mile radius. Unfortunately for us, the Davy Crockett only flew 2.5 miles before exploding with the blast effect of 20 tons of TNT. In the training film, the blast flips over 60-ton tanks, derails trains, and literally erases every standing structure for a mile or two. It was no-win, personified.

So when you hear the terms “tactical,” “low yield,” or “unconventional weapons,” be reasonably afraid. The only people who don’t seem to understand how reckless it is to even threaten nuclear war is are the maniacal Trumps and Putins of the world.

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